Alicia: "Yeah, girl. What can I do for ya?"
Eli: "Do you and Peter have an open marriage?"
Alicia: "HA! Today is turning out to be pretty funny."
Eli: "So you didn't have an orgy with aliens and a turkey sandwich, like the lady said?"
Alicia: "I am so inscrutable right now that it hurts."
WILL GARDNER SELF-CHUMHUMS, JUST LIKE WE ALL DO
"Did you mean Will Gardner disbarred lawyer?"
Neil Gross you are so awesome! You are getting up there in Kenny Powers territory, crushwise. I just want an entire show of JBH being cocky and petty and self-righteous. That is like porn to me. But the good kind, the Opposite Of This Episode's Title kind.
DID THEY WATCH YOU BURN THIS MOTHER DOWN?
Nick: "Sorry but you can't be a lesbian anymore."
Kalinda: "Yeah, I can. Also shut up."
Nick: "But we're married and we're in love!"
Kalinda: "None of those things are true. You are such a tool."
Nick: "I have a boo-boo in my heart where you hurted it!"
Kalinda: "I am so inscrutable it hurts right now."
Nick: "Also, I am going to murder your girlfriend."
Kalinda: "HA! Today is actually pretty funny. That girl you're gonna kill? She's FBI. You feel me? My girlfriend is a federal agent. So good luck with that, Sunshine."
Peter: "We have to do some campaign things, pretty soon... Like give a speech or something. Smell the tops of babies' heads. And internet moguls's heads."
Alicia: "Belay that order, Eli. I am going to have some sex with my husband now."
Peter: "I don't know where this is coming from. I should not cheat on my wife more often! Apparently there are rewards, I had no idea. Listen, honey. I am going to not cheat on you so hard!"
Maura Tierney returns, meaning Alicia and Diane are going to be together on a tricky case. Alicia Florrick tells Synth to stop calling her a swinger. And Kalinda looks around at her life and how Kalinda it's getting, and she goes, "Even for me, this is a bit much. Maybe I should cool it with the amount of Kalinda I'm being these days."
JACOB CLIFTON is a freelance writer and critic based in Austin, Texas. He currently recaps Gossip Girl, The Good Wife and Homeland for TWoP. Jacob can be found online at jacobclifton.com, on Twitter, and on Facebook. IRL work appears in BenBella's SmartPop series of anthologies, his novel The Urges, and a novelette, "The Commonplace Book," appeared this month on Tor.com.