STRAW POLL

Rando Journo: "Eli, what's a win to you?"
Eli: "Duh, the majority of straw poll votes?"
Rando Journo: "Come on, you got this hands down. But I'm hearing you need 95 percent to keep the other two Democrats from being contenders..."
Maddie Hayward: "...Did somebody just say my name? No? I'll just go back to lurking around for no reason, then."
Eli: "Only the lamestream media would call a 90 percent landslide a loss."
Rando Journo: "So you're looking at a 90 percent landslide, then."

Jimmy V posts his story; Eli shoves the RJ out of the way so he can go scare Peter.

Eli: "Plus, he used 'social media' to make it 'go viral.' Words and concepts such as those."
Peter: "Aw, fuck."
Eli: "...Oh no, and he even mentions the C&D call from Will Gardner..."
Peter: "The what and from whom?"
Eli: "I know, I know. But Diane wasn't around, and I was scared..."
Peter: "Will Gardner cannot be involved in my shit, Eli. Not only does that impede on my masculinity in a fucking vital way, and keep him involved in my marriage, but also my wife slept with him and this whole thing has been about..."
Eli: "Don't tell me how to do my job, Peter. Unless it's about me letting you think you came up with the ideas I trick you into buying. And anyway he didn't even send the order, so now it's about two things that didn't actually happen. It's still the opposite of news, just a chronicle of stuff that didn't end up happening..."
Peter: "Which is why we're going to let this whole thing slide, because fuck it. As long as there aren't any secret Democratic opponents ready to step into the..."
Maddie Hayward: "That is so weird! My ears just won't stop burning!"

LEMOND BISHOP'S LEGITIMATE BAKERY

Baker: "Are you accusing me of skimming or something? Like I'm going to embezzle from the scariest person..."
Cary: "No, it's not a discrepancy of the sort that would get you killed, it's just that... You show him, baby."
Hayden: "[Forensic accounting math that gives Cary Agos a boner.]"
Baker: "Fine. The income surplus you're talking about was used for 'benefits,' meaning we bought them memberships at a health club, which obviously is also owned by Lemond Bishop, because this is obviously about money laundering."