Dana: "That was some awesome sex, unseen sexual partner!"
Cary: "...It is I! Cary Agos! I am soft like a woman!"
Dana: "Hey, I got this idea. Let's both pretend the other person is Kalinda, and then have lots of lesbian sex with each other."
Cary: "On the one hand, that has to be the motherfucking creepiest thing I've ever heard. On the other hand, I am totally cool with it."
Kalinda: "You gotta stay up pretty late to make me, the creepiest person of all time, seem like the most innocent one of all. Well done, you sick bitches."
Alicia: "Zach, help Mommy. Is anybody going through my computer?"
Zach: "No, just this one webcam thing you already saw."
Alicia: "On an unrelated note, I had the keys changed and here are your new housekeys. Do not share them with anybody, even your grandma."
Zach & Grace: "Aw hell, what did she do now?"
Alicia: "Nothing! Everything is fine! I just think Jackie misses being over here all the time and I think she wants to bug me all the time, so..."
Zach & Grace: "I mean, she picks us up from school and stuff because Chris Noth is so busy doing other stuff."
Alicia: "I know. I just want to put the fear of God in her..."
Zach: "-- Oh! She totally went through your computer! I have seen through your cunning smokescreen of demonstrating wordlessly exactly what is going on."
Alicia: "I... Look, things are good with your Dad right now. We're friendlies. I'm not starting shit yet. Beware of mission creep. But I will tell you that I fear she may be acting on her own, in her obsessive Peter's-Mommy way, to get sole custody."
Zach & Grace: "We're growing up, that's unnecessary."
Alicia: "Everything your grandmother does is unnecessary. This is merely one thing."
Zach & Grace: "We're not six!"
Alicia: "She wishes you were. I'm pretty sure she still thinks your dad is."
Zach & Grace: "Hey, if a person were to get on your computer and start creeping around, would they find anything worthwhile for a divorce suit?"
Alicia: "No, just pictures of cats and whatever. I don't even know how to use the thing, dude. Well, maybe... No. No."