Diane: "I am totally cool with that. But let's talk about how confusing MyPlate is."
Eli: "I just noticed that the schoolteacher we brought to testify that she's too retarded to understand MyPlate looks like she's too retarded to understand MyPlate. Diane, give me your glasses. Teacher lady, put on these glasses. Now you look less like a regular stripper and more like a naughty librarian stripper."
USDA: "You are totally doing this because you are Cheese lobbying."
Diane: "Of course we're Cheese lobbying. Momma needs shoes."
Cheese: "[Suddenly loses his shit at a bad time and accuses them of taking bribes from Produce, rather than from everybody like they actually are.]"
USDA: "We're done talking."
Eli: "Hey Amy Sedaris, what's going on with the USDA? You work for them, right?"
Amy: "No, I'm a lobbyist now too, but I will not be telling you that yet. In the meantime, I'm going to make fun of you for being from Chicago, as if DC isn't one million times scarier and more corrupt than Chicago. You and Diane can rest assured that the pyramid will be reinstated and Cheese will have their heyday. This is also a lie."
Kalinda: "How come that bitch knows me?"
Eli: "She knows everybody, and everybody knows you."
Kalinda: "True, but I didn't become Kalinda by ignoring my intuitive paranoia. I'm going to go investigate that bitch and find out that she's totally a Produce lobbyist. Somehow she has already played us, but it will take the whole episode to figure out how and why. This will give you the opportunity to act so adorable that even Diane will begin take you seriously as a person, instead of just a pointy little elf weapon."
Eli: "But Will is still going to hate my ass?"
Kalinda: "So, so much."
Alicia and Will go see Elkins, with Hicks. She's twitchy in an anemic, gingery The Killing way. She's scared because she killed twelve people due to twitchiness, but one of the things this season is that all their clients are guilty (except for when there turns out to be a random black person who did it). You have to keep your eye on it, though, because you will fall victim to the mission creep of sexist allegations and before you know it you will see misogyny everywhere and completely forget that she totally killed a bunch of people and what the point of this storyline actually is, which is what the storyline really is about: Alicia being so good at her job that she fools you, and so bad at her job that she fools herself.