The Hills

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Not In High School Anymore

You guys, what is this world coming to where Lauren and Heidi and Spencer were all invited to the White House Correspondents' Dinner? I mean, I know that a lot of jokey people were invited, but those three? For real? I'm so disgusted right now.

Previously, Lauren befriended She-Pratt, and Audrina befriended Heidi, and also JB. Lauren and Lo decided to include Audrina in their new house-renting plans, although they didn't do a great job of communicating that to Audrina.

Lauren, Lo, and Audrina go to check out a house for rent, and all they say is "So pretty!" and then "So pretty!" and then "So pretty!" For some reason, Audrina gets the guesthouse, like that's not a total sign. You can't have three friends when you're girls. It just doesn't work. They're setting themselves up for failure. Anyway, Audrina claims she's fine with it, probably thinking she can have Heidi and JB over all she wants. So then they go back to the main house and their conversation goes, "So pretty!" "Oh my God, so pretty!" "So pretty!" "Pretty pretty pretty pretty pretty!" And now the word "pretty" has lost all meaning.

Lauren and Lo go out for lunch and discuss their housewarming party. Lauren drops the bombshell that Stephen Colletti is coming, because he's in town. Lo is thrilled, because she totes wants Stephen and Lauren to get back together. She is a fangirl. Lauren doesn't want to get her hopes up, and Lo says she'll get her hopes up for her. Lauren admits that she never really stopped liking Stephen. And then Lo goes home and cuts pictures out of Us Weekly and Life & Style and makes a collage of Lauren and Stephen together with lacey hearts and glitter pens. And I kind of think Lo secretly hates Audrina too, so maybe there are those naked pictures of Audrina with her eyes blacked out with a Sharpie.

Stephanie finds Spencer hanging out in a coffeehouse alone, because he has no friends. You guys! I forgot to tell you that I realized this morning who Spencer reminds me of. Remember in Gilmore Girls, when Rory dropped out of Yale and was living with her grandparents and dating Logan? And then Jess came back to town and he had published a book and he wasn't annoying Jess but was suddenly-kind-of-cool-Jess, especially compared to Logan? And they had that scene where Logan was a total dick to Jess, and Jess walked out, and then yelled at Rory outside that he didn't even know her anymore? And Logan was a dick some more? That version of Logan is Spencer, totally. Anyway, back to the coffee house, Spencer reports that he has the flu. So he's hanging out in the coffee house, so as to further spread his germs. Stephanie says that she's going to Lauren's housewarming party. Spencer questions her family loyalty, and Stephanie retorts that Spencer once befriended her ex-boyfriend, so that the ex was at her house every day when she came home. Wait, what? Why haven't we heard this story before? Spencer tries to claim that it wasn't her boyfriend, but Stephanie isn't having it. Spencer wonders how Heidi will feel, and Stephanie says that Heidi won't have a problem with it, because Spencer's the one holding the grudge. Spencer has no comeback, so he just leaves. What a douche.

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The Hills

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