Meanwhile, Lo and ShePratt stroll down Melrose Place. ShePratt claims that she's meant to do more in this life than AA meetings and early nights in. Now that she's gotten her self-esteem to almost functional levels, she thinks she's ready for a man to bat it back down again. Lo says her boyfriend has a friend, and she's happy to set up a double date. The minute it comes out of her mouth, ShePratt flips that this guy won't be comfortable with her sobriety. At which point you know ShePratt is definitely not ready to date. If she were comfortable with herself -- sobriety and all -- she'd just let it rip. Instead, she zeroed in on instant neuroses that are completely independent of this person. Lo reminds her that anyone who can't deal with someone else staying sober might have problems themselves and isn't good enough for her. But it's beyond ridiculous. Clearly ShePratt doesn't really want to date. She just wants someone to revive the drama that's missing in her life. Spencer's too mean, and she's court mandated to be boring, so what'll it be? Boyfriend it is!
That night, Audrina heads over to Kristin's house for some white whine and popcorn. All the better to enjoy (perhaps enhance) the drama! They discuss their respective relationships -- or lack thereof. Audrina, secure in her showmance with Frank LanGELla, warns Kristin to be on guard about Brody and his playboy ways. They agree they act like a couple when they're out and have crazy chemistry, but it's still not wise to get attached. Showing how indifferent she is(n't), Kristin decides to call Brody right then and there.
His phone rings at a wine bar across town, and his date McKaela (don't even get me started on that name) tells him she doesn't allow phones at the table. He looks at her, then back at the phone, then back at her. She gives him a sultry look, making it clear that he will be rewarded for following her rules. He gives her a naughty look and decides not to answer.
Back at Kristin's, she gets Brody's voicemail greeting and rolls her eyes as she clicks off the phone, complaining that it's the third time that day she's been ignored. She thinks Brody's acting really weird. Or maybe you are, Kristin? If you're not dating someone, three calls a day is a little much, no? She rolls her eyes again. What was that I was saying about eighth grade?
Back at the wine bar, Brody tells McSpellYourDamnNameRight about Kristin, how she's his ex-girlfriend, but it was five years ago, and they'll always be friends. She steers the conversation back to "meeting new people," specifically him. They resume typical first-date banter, in which he pretends to care about her life, and she mistakes his nookie-seeking for actual interest. Basically she's new to town, and therefore his target. She's having a hard time meeting genuine friends, blah-blah-blah, and Brody offers to be her genuine friend, hurl-hurl-hurl. He remembers her mentioning she surfed, but he doesn't think girls can surf. Yeah, tell that to this hot bitch. She coyly says she'll just have to prove him wrong, then mentions a "battle wound" on her foot. Brody immediately jumps at the bait, all, "Show me your foot!" Have to give it to the girl, she may be new to town, but she's a pro. She knows Brody's type, and she's playing him like a fiddle. Granted, Brody's a thick-headed himbo, so it's not the hardest to suss out. At any rate, they wrap up their sex eyes and head back to his place so she can show him her much-hyped battle wound. But first they huddle to make out and seek solace from the rain under a palmetto. As you do.