The Hills

Episode Report Card
Kim: B | Grade It Now!
Moving Out

Goa, a typical LA club. Heidi and Stephanie are seated at one booth, and Audrina, Lauren, and Lo are at another. Heidi and Stephanie discuss (in what is very clearly looped dialogue added later) that Heidi saw JB at the bar, and she wants to tell Audrina, but not while Lauren is right there. Lucky for her, Lauren and Lo get up to go...somewhere. Heidi decides the time is right to make her move. She walks over and hugs Audrina, and then tells her that JB is there. Audrina is taken aback, but says it'll be fine. Audrina and Heidi talk about how much of a bummer it can be when a guy breaks your heart.

So THEN! Lauren comes back and is like, "Move over!" She whisper yells to Stephanie that she didn't know Heidi would be there and it's weird, and then apologizes for putting Stephanie in that position. So the seating goes like this: Stephanie, Lauren, Audrina, Heidi. And Heidi is just yelling about how she can tell that Lauren doesn't want Audrina and Heidi to be friends, and just totally being a bitch about the whole thing. Like what's in this for Heidi? Camera time? It's not like Audrina is a scintillating conversationalist or something.

So THEN! JB comes over and he's wearing a weird hat like Richie Sambora circa "Wanted: Dead or Alive". Heidi says she's going to go but allegedly Audrina asks her to stay (it was obviously a voiceover so who knows). Heidi agrees to stay and starts blabbing to JB about how they should all hang out, and she was friends with Audrina before Lauren was. Like JB gives a shit! So Lauren just bails because it's so awkward, and Lo leaves with her. You know, there's no reason for Audrina to leave with Lauren, but she needs to make a decision about her friendships instead of just sitting there like, "Whaaaat? I don't know. I like people. And string." Gah. She's just so dumb.

Heidi's Apartment. Stephanie and Heidi sit there and discuss the events of the previous night. Stephanie thinks it was progress. Heidi says she thought Lauren would be warmer, but that didn't happen. And it was good to see Audrina. Do you think Heidi ever sits up nights and wonders why she has no female friends?

Hillside Villas. Lo comes in and discusses work with Lauren. Then they move on to how it sucks that Lo lives so far away. Lauren suggests that they all get a house together, because she's sick of her apartment. And then Lauren has to make an Oprah message out of the whole thing, and talks about how moving allows you to go through your stuff and give yourself a fresh start. Yeah, I hate how you're not allowed to throw anything out unless you're moving. Lauren says that Audrina could live with them too, and Lo wonders if she would even want to. AND, it turns out that Audrina is having dinner with JB tonight! Lo jokes that Audrina might bring JB and Heidi over to their new house. Don't even joke, Lo. Don't even.

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The Hills




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