The Hills

Episode Report Card
Kim: B | Grade It Now!
Moving Out

Audrina waits for JB in a restaurant. He finally shows up wearing that same stupid hat and a ponytail. God, I hate him. Audrina hugs him and tells him that he smells good. JB jokes (I hope) that he hasn't showered in weeks. Come to think of it, he's probably not really joking. He wonders if Audrina misses his bike, and says that he hasn't had anyone on it since her. Is that supposed to be a metaphor? They talk about how much has gone on since they stopped dating. JB says he's gotten his priorities straight. I have to say, he looks a lot less stoned. But it would be hard for him to not look less stoned; he looked incredibly stoned before. Audrina mentions how she's been hanging out with Heidi and how that might cause drama. They have an actual conversation and JB doesn't burp or anything. He really is on his best behavior. And then they totally make a sex date.

Hillside Villas. Audrina and Lauren eat breakfast. Audrina reports that JB has cleaned up and he didn't burp at all. Lauren asks if they're just friends or what. Audrina kind of doesn't answer and then compares their relationship to Lauren's with Jason or Stephen, but Lauren says that she stopped going back to Jason. Yeah, because he got ENGAGED. Let's not pretend that Lauren just decided she needed to stop seeing Jason. She would have totally gone back to him if he hadn't been with that other chick. Lauren brings up Heidi and Audrina just says that it's good to rekindle old friendships.

Heidi stops over at Stephanie's place, but Spencer is the only one there. Heidi pretends like she really just wanted to see how Spencer is doing, and he calls her on her lies. Also, could Heidi be wearing any MORE makeup? It's really grossing me out. She's starting to look like a drag queen. Heidi tells Spencer about what happened the other night with Lauren and says it was awful. Spencer wonders what Heidi expected by going to the same clubs that Lauren goes to, and wonders if Heidi expects to move back in with Lauren and be her friend again. Heidi starts to leave and Spencer gets in his parting shot when he tells her that she looks great. God, even their fights are boring. I know they're still together, and I'm kind of happy because no one else should have to suffer being with them.

Lo and Lauren go out to breakfast and talk about their house plans, and how fun it would be. Audrina joins them. Lo brings up Audrina's date with JB. Audrina reports that JB stopped drinking. Lo gives Lauren a funny look and Lauren brings up that their lease is ending soon, and they were thinking about getting a house. Audrina doesn't really seem to get that they're asking her to move in. Because she's dumb. Audrina finally catches on and asks if they want her to move in with them, and Lauren is like, "Duh! Of course!" And then they play kind of sad music so I'm confused because am I supposed to be sad that they asked Audrina to move in with them? I don't know. In case you couldn't tell from the eight million times I mentioned it, I'm over Audrina. She and Heidi and Spencer could just drop right out of the show and I wouldn't mind. It could be all Lauren and Whitney and Lo and Kelly Crow-trone, and I would love it. Sigh.

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The Hills




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