The Hills

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A Night At The Opera

Previously: Spencer and Heidi pretended they're really going to get married. Audrina acted like every woman in her early twenties by sticking around with a loser and thinking she could change him. Heidi and Lauren had a sitdown that didn't end well.

Hillside Villas. Lauren is making breakfast tea. Audrina comes into the kitchen and says she met Stephanie Pratt, Spencer's sister, last night. Lauren's eyes bug out when she hears the name, and she says that Stephanie is "a loony." Audrina adds that Stephanie introduced herself, and then told Audrina that she's a fucking bitch. Classy! Also, way to get that interaction on camera, show. Audrina thinks Stephanie kind of looks like Spencer. Lauren calls her "a she-Pratt." Lauren's hair is looking busted as she says that a she-Pratt is more dangerous, because the one thing Spencer can't do is hit a girl, but his sister could.

Heidi and Spencer's apartment. Stephanie shows up, and Heidi and Spencer immediately start arguing about whose fault it is that the electricity bill didn't get paid. For six months. You are not allowed to get married if you can't handle your business. That includes holding down a job, even if it's minimum wage, and paying your own bills. Also, doing your own laundry, and feeding yourself something besides sandwiches. So it is written and so shall it be done. Anyway, Stephanie somehow thinks this is evidence that Spencer and Heidi are totally in love. Bleh. I love that their last name is totally an insult. So I can call them Pratts, and it works both ways. Heidi starts talking about the wedding. Spencer wants to get married in Tibet, and Stephanie wants to get married in Croatia. They're not allowed to get married there unless they can tell me one fact about either country that they didn't learn from watching a movie. Heidi explains what she wants, which is a traditional wedding. Stephanie wants to marry them, since she's an internet minister. Heidi's like, "Uh, no."

Hillside Villas. Lauren and Audrina try to figure out where they're going out that night. They discuss meeting Brody and Frankie at a club called Opera. Based on the episode title, I'm guessing they go there. Audrina says that JB hasn't called her back yet, and then starts complaining that JB always checks out other girls when they're at clubs. She gives the old excuse that JB is a different person when they're alone. Oh, honey. Next thing you're going to be telling me is that he's really sorry after he hits you. Lauren snarks, "If you guys were hermits, you'd have, like, the perfect relationship."

Opera. Lauren, Audrina, and JB chill at a table. Brody joins them, and spots Stephanie in the crowd. Stephanie comes over and tells Brody that he's on "the evil side" and needs to come home with them. Stephanie and her friend Roxy start yelling at Lauren to leave Heidi alone. Lauren plays it cool and says that she hasn't done anything to Heidi, and that they don't even know her, or what happened. Stephanie claims that Heidi is her family now. Lauren says it's still none of Stephanie's business. Brody says that he does love Spencer (he does?) but that what happened is between Lauren and Spencer, or Lauren and Heidi, and Stephanie doesn't have a horse in this race. Stephanie turns on Brody, who asks what he ever did. Stephanie realizes that she has no leg to stand on, and leaves. Lauren calls after her not to fight other people's battles. Oh, Lauren. Just let them go. Audrina thinks Stephanie and Roxy reminded her of "Cinderella and the stepsisters," which makes no sense because Cinderella's stepsisters hated her.

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The Hills




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