The Hills

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Kim: A+ | Grade It Now!
Il Bastardo

Heidi and Spencer's apartment. Spencer thinks they should just order breakfast in and chill out, but Heidi is not done caking eight pounds of makeup on her face yet. Seriously, she just put more lip gloss on in one application than I've worn in my ENTIRE LIFE. And don't get me started on the eye shadow. Heidi says she can't hang out because she needs to figure out what to do since she got fired. Spencer, predictably, doesn't see what the big deal is all about. Heidi pretends like she knows how to create a resume. Spencer wants them to go out to cheer her up. He also offers to be a reference for Heidi -- like, is there anything more unprofessional than listing your boyfriend as a reference? Especially when your boyfriend is a douchebag?

Montage of half-naked male models. Alex and Whitney chat about his really bad fake tan. Kelly has to tell her to get back to work. Lauren gets everyone lined up. Adam, the other male model, invites the girls to a party tonight. Alex stands around and looks jealous. And weird. Whitney was right -- I don't know what look the makeup people were going for, but it looks like they smeared dirt on the model's faces. I guess it's some weird bronzer effect, but I don't get it. The conversation about the party gets cut off when the fashion show starts. Whitney and Lauren leave once the show ends. Whitney confesses that Alex is "really, really nice" but he's "really, really nervous." So she's ditching him! Whitney's kind of fickle.

Whitney and Lauren changed, and now they're going to the club where the party is happening. There's a terrible band playing. Adam introduces Lauren and Whitney to his... girlfriend. HA! Alex shows up. Whitney is all entranced by the lead singer of the band. Alex finds Whitney and tells her that his friends are all sitting elsewhere, and he doesn't think there's room for all of them where she is sitting. [Uh, so what? Are you macking on Whitney or hanging out with your friends? - Zach] Whitney says she can't leave Lauren alone, so Alex leaves. That leaves Whitney free to keep gossiping with Lauren about how cute the singer is. The set ends, and Jay the Singer comes over to meet the girls. Lauren and Whitney can't get over how hot he is. You know Lauren's psyched because she keeps doing that thing where she sticks her tongue between her teeth -- it was Katie Holmes's signature move on Dawson's Creek.

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The Hills




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