She brings up for group dismissal all of Ryan's totally valid questions about the breakup, like, can he actually be present for it, can she use her words, does she have any reasons beyond her life-crushing Audrina-defining ennui, was he just another expression of her essential nihilism, was it possibly related to or in the general area of how she would just spontaneously burst into tears of dread whenever he was around?

So the girls on the boat go "Whaa whaa whaa" and poor Ryan Cabrera has to celebrate his chinless fortieth birthday alone. Everybody reiterates that Audrina, emotional powerhouse that she is, knows exactly what being a grownup is like. Stephanie mentions Justin Bobby and one side of Audrina's face goes, "We're just friends!" in a way intended to crush Stephanie's soul. But the other side of her face lights up, because she forgot she was on a boat with Justin Bobby. So then she nags him at the steering wheel of the boat and acts all goofy like she does when she's "flirting," and then I guess they all just sail right off the edge of this planet?

Wait, no, they're just all so drunk shit stopped making sense. Who's that blonde version of Brody on the boat? What's his story? He looks like my buddy Wade. Then maybe they sail to Costa Rica? Is that possible? No, they are planning a trip to Costa Rica to get away from Allie and McKaela. I say just burst the blister, obviously there are things you can do that will get those girls out of your hair. Brody can shame girls publicly, I've seen him do it. Kristin can set 'em up and Brody can knock 'em down. Usually that hurts me in the feminism, but in these cases you gotta resort to deterrent measures.

Audrina and Justin Bobby snag a little one-on-one time on the boat topside, while everybody else is below decks making very little sense in the way they speak to one another. In this way, there is not a whole lot of difference between the two milieux. Frankie and the boys and Kristin and the girls, they are drunk on drinking. Audrina, she is drunk on Justin Bobby and seasickness. And Justin Bobby? He is drunk on his deep-as-deep thoughts, for those are the only kind he can think.