Jayde tells Kristin to butt out and stop screwing up her relationship. Kristin contends that she's known Brody for five years and has never before (been paid to) destroyed his relationships (on national TV). She claims she'd be happy for Brody if Jayde made him happy, but she doesn't see that. Jayde reiterates that Kristin just got back in the saddle and has no idea about these people's relationship dynamics. She basically tells her to take her raggedy old man-stealin' hoo-ha elsewhere. She name-checks JB in all this mess, rankling Kristin. Jayde sticks to her guns: Kristin is trouble, everything was fine before she swept into town like so many brushfires, and she should go back where she came from. All 30 minutes away back to the O.C. Seeing that she has produced the amount of drama stipulated in her contract, Kristin wraps things up in an elegant little bow, calling Jayde a bitch a couple of times.
The next day, Kristin meets Lo for a rehash lunch. Lo laughs in amazement that Kristin faced down an "animal" like Jayde. Kristin claims it's because Audrina never showed her the respect of showing up for bitchfest. To be fair, Kristin had already verbally demoralized Audrina once this season, and she would have found another opportunity regardless, so to give her that satisfaction in between the two beat-downs would have been gratuitous. Also, the producers probably never even told Audrina, expressly for the purpose of creating a motive to destroy her a couple episodes later. Lo doesn't care about the technicalities of Kristin and Audrina's tiff, though -- she wants the dirty deets on Kristin and Jayde's showdown. Sadly, she is disappointed. Kristin reports that Jayde said she was getting back together with Brody. Lo asks if Kristin believed Jayde, and Kristin smiles smugly, spitting out a rapid fire of "No, no-no-no." She's got this bitch locked down in her mind. JB made a fool of her once, and she'll have it no more. Kristin FTW. Lo rubs her earlobe dolefully thinking about all the ripped weaves and earrings ripped from lobes that weren't meant to be in Jayde and Kristin's anticlimactic meet-up.
Elsewhere, Heidi lunches with Audrina and asks her about JB. Audrina rues that it was a total disaster and that JB has let her down again. Heidi assures her that, if it hadn't been Kristin, it would have been someone else. She urges Audrina to put him out of her mind once and for all. Then she turns to her favorite topic: Heidi. She catches Audrina up on all the vasectomy dramz. Audrina agrees that such a drastic measure was a "slap in the face" to her, basically implying that he never wants kids -- specifically with her. Heidi retells her brilliant plan to skip her birth control pills and spring a kid on Spencer. Even Audrina thinks this is an ill-advised maneuver. And this coming from the girl still shocked and heartbroken by her million-and-ninth return to the same guy. Just as she did in Dr. Mansbasher's office, Heidi plows forward with her disregard to Spencer's vociferous objections and all thinking (and some non-thinking) people's objections. She has decided that this world needs a Speidi Baby, so she'll make the call herself. As Heidi outlines her plan to seduce Spencer with home cooking and romantic ambience, Audrina cups her face in her hands with an incredulous, but totally amused "Oh my God!" Heidi intones chipper yet ominously, "I always get what I want!"