Couple's Scare-apy. I am loving that their doctor's name is Dr. Jordana Mansbacher. Pronounced "Mansbasher," perhaps? The Mexican newlyweds come in all smiles and sunshine, like they're fooling anyone. Dr. Mansbasher asks what brings them to couples therapy, or as I like to call it, "Shit or get off the pot." Heidi goes into a long, heavily dubbed spiel about Stacie, the bar shenanigans, Spencer's "secret life," etc., finally hitting her crescendo with the most awesomely tabloid-ready claim that Spencer is "having an emotional affair." Spencer, in turn, says that Heidi doesn't trust him, despite his many efforts. She throws in that they almost got married twice, and he has to remind her of their Mexican wedding. Dr. Mansbasher has some pretty awesome reaction shots as she takes in all this fuckery. She tells them their bullshit problems are "really high school-ish" and asks if they're really serious about workings things out. Ha!
She tells them to face each other and instructs Spencer to say something he feels right at that moment. With a shit-eating grin (and a flesh-colored beard) on his face, he snots, "I feel... Like. I. Am. In a nightmare." Heidi turns on her angry helium voice to tattle that Spencer isn't taking this seriously. He factually states that he is present, but Dr. Mansbasher says he is only present physically, not emotionally. Heidi accuses him of being "emotionally checked out in some kind of weird stripper hotel." Puts forth Dr. Mansbasher: "If you feel like he's checked out, what are you doing with him?" Even Spencer shakes his head, unsure.
Elsewhere, the old LAL House crew meets for lunch. They wonder why they weren't invited to Hawaii. Lauren reasons that the guys probably needed a Bromance fix, since their homie has been putting his ho before his bros. Basically, no one really likes The Bunny besides Brody -- though Lauren's too tactically minded to say that out loud. Lo sneakily says that Brody should be able to take a vacation without his girlfriend. They do acknowledge that Brody is super-cute with The Bunny. And then, as if she just emerged from a different conversation, Audrina starts agreeing that, yes! Brody is amazingly magnetic and warm and attractive. Lauren's eyes become saucers, and someone (dubbed-over Lo, I think) says "You're so gonna hook up with Brody!" What now? Given how dramatic and abrupt that whole sequence just was, I'm actually starting to believe this rumor about Lauren pre-taping her facial reactions.