Audrina starts saying how she doesn't want a boyfriend right now, and Lauren makes some more weirdly inappropriate responses, adding fuel to my conspiracy theory fire. Lo gets the idea of a girly vacation in her mind and says they haven't taken a vacation in a really long time. What, like, six days? So they conspire to crash Brody's Hawaii trip. So many things wrong there. 1.) If you really want a girly vacation, don't tag along desperately on the boys' trip, 2.) You people live right by about 12 beaches -- try something different! The suburbs perhaps? Or a rented-by-the-hour roach motel? That would really shake things up! They all egg each other on, saying they don't need the boys' permission to have their own Hawaiian vacation and, per Audrina, that there will most definitely be no drama. Lauren notes the "famous last words."

Next week: Hawaiinstigation, featuring Stephanie "Do it to make Justin jealous!" Pratt. Mr. Jackcheese returns to town, Bible in hand, and Spencer harasses the Hell (pun intended) out of him about the whole "no sex before marriage" thing. Audrina admits her (fake) crush on Brody, and they make it seem like he hooks up with her. Audrina speaks of a war with the Bunny. Oh, girl, that's like taking on the Russian army in the dead of winter. For everyone one of you, there are 100 Bunnies. Audrina is a marked woman, y'all.

Discuss this episode in our forums, then see what vlogger Sean Crespo thinks about The Hills when he has No Prior Knowledge!