The Hills

Episode Report Card
Lady Lola: B | Grade It Now!
Relationships Take Work

She tells them to face each other and instructs Spencer to say something he feels right at that moment. With a shit-eating grin (and a flesh-colored beard) on his face, he snots, "I feel... Like. I. Am. In a nightmare." Heidi turns on her angry helium voice to tattle that Spencer isn't taking this seriously. He factually states that he is present, but Dr. Mansbasher says he is only present physically, not emotionally. Heidi accuses him of being "emotionally checked out in some kind of weird stripper hotel." Puts forth Dr. Mansbasher: "If you feel like he's checked out, what are you doing with him?" Even Spencer shakes his head, unsure.

Elsewhere, the old LAL House crew meets for lunch. They wonder why they weren't invited to Hawaii. Lauren reasons that the guys probably needed a Bromance fix, since their homie has been putting his ho before his bros. Basically, no one really likes The Bunny besides Brody -- though Lauren's too tactically minded to say that out loud. Lo sneakily says that Brody should be able to take a vacation without his girlfriend. They do acknowledge that Brody is super-cute with The Bunny. And then, as if she just emerged from a different conversation, Audrina starts agreeing that, yes! Brody is amazingly magnetic and warm and attractive. Lauren's eyes become saucers, and someone (dubbed-over Lo, I think) says "You're so gonna hook up with Brody!" What now? Given how dramatic and abrupt that whole sequence just was, I'm actually starting to believe this rumor about Lauren pre-taping her facial reactions.

Audrina starts saying how she doesn't want a boyfriend right now, and Lauren makes some more weirdly inappropriate responses, adding fuel to my conspiracy theory fire. Lo gets the idea of a girly vacation in her mind and says they haven't taken a vacation in a really long time. What, like, six days? So they conspire to crash Brody's Hawaii trip. So many things wrong there. 1.) If you really want a girly vacation, don't tag along desperately on the boys' trip, 2.) You people live right by about 12 beaches -- try something different! The suburbs perhaps? Or a rented-by-the-hour roach motel? That would really shake things up! They all egg each other on, saying they don't need the boys' permission to have their own Hawaiian vacation and, per Audrina, that there will most definitely be no drama. Lauren notes the "famous last words."

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The Hills




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