The Hills

Episode Report Card
Daniel: F | Grade It Now!
You Say It’s Your Birthday?

Lauren and Stephanie are at their FIDM (or whatever) class thing, and Stephanie is telling Lauren about having her birthday party in some stupid club, and Lauren's excited about going. She wants to bring a guy. "You have a guy in your life?" asks Stephanie, and Lauren tells her about Doug the injured baseball player. Stephanie says athletes are her favorite type of guy. Really? Not intellectuals? Huh. Is she going to invite Spencer and Heidi? She says something about "drama" following Spencer and Heidi. "I don't know if it follows as much as they chase it," says Lauren. I don't know which draft of the script they're shooting, but that's a good line, and "Drama Follows Them" is the title of the episode.

Doug and Lauren hit the Creperie, and Doug talks about how great Lauren looks, and she burbles something about wanting to find their prom pictures, and Doug is all "I have them!" ...only he found them at the Laguna house and not his house here. Fascinating! You guys only have to fill half an hour a week, and this conversation makes the cut? He asks how things are with Audrina. Lauren says Audrina and Lo had a little chat that was a "disaster" and he says everyone in her life is hectic. She tells him about Stephanie's birthday party, and he says he'll be there, and she hopes Spencer won't be. "Blood's thicker than water," he says, which I presume was the second choice for episode title.

Over at Epic Records, Audrina's pretending to work with Chiara, who acts all outraged about Lo's chat with Audrina, and Audrina is apparently going to the stupid birthday party, too.

At People's Revolution, Whitney natters on about Kelly, Robin and Emily coming to town to check on things, and she's going to a work dinner with them tonight. She's a little nervous and intimidated. "Do you have anything going on this week?" she asks Lauren, who tells her about the birthday party. "Are Spencer and Heidi coming?" asks Whitney, and Lauren says Stephanie said they weren't, which Whitney seems to think is bizarre. "I'm not even going to try to understand that relationship," says Lauren, which is good advice for everyone watching this show to follow about everyone ON this show.

At Don Antonio's, dark and dingy to remind us all that Spencer and Heidi are the evil ones, Spencer still hasn't shaved, and Heidi chirps about how awesome it is that he still knows how to order for her, whatever that's supposed to mean. Then he rudely checks his cellphone to find an incoming call or message from Stephanie, and he thinks she's probably checking to see if he's coming to her birthday party. He says he doesn't want to hang out with his sister, who's best friends with the person he despises most in the world (isn't that person in reality "everyone but Spencer"?), and Heidi, who knows a thing or two about loyalty, agrees that it's "disrespectful." Still, Heidi points out that Stephanie is his sister, "regardless of how crazy and whatever else she is" so maybe they should could go, and it could be the last time he ever sees her. Spencer, being a douchebag, thinks this is a fine idea, saying if Stephanie wants to keep on being friends with L.C., then he'll never speak to her again. "I agree," says Heidi. I'm trying hard to imagine a downside for Stephanie here.

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The Hills




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