The Hills
For Better Or Worse

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For Better Or Worse

Lauren and Jason having a meal at yet another outdoor restaurant. Lauren rips on his sleeveless shirt. Jason complains that he doesn't have enough clothes, and Lauren reveals that, in the time-honored tradition of breakups everywhere, she kept a bunch of Jason's T-shirts for working out. Or cleaning the toilet, like Kyra Sedgwick in Singles. Jason wants Lauren to meet his girlfriend, and at the word "girlfriend," Lauren's face falls. Actually, on first viewing, I thought he said, "I want you to be my girlfriend," and I couldn't figure out why Lauren suddenly got all pouty. Jason adds that he and his girlfriend are moving in together. Lauren bugs her eyes out and remains silent as Jason says they're having a housewarming party. Lauren lies that she would love to meet the new chick. Meanwhile, the waiter delivers biscuits and butter, and now I'm hungry.

Hillside Villas. Lauren and Audrina provide a transitional scene to remind us that Lauren is supposed to go to Jason's housewarming, and that the two girls are going out tonight with Whitney.

Teen Vogue. Whitney meets with Lisa Love, who has the best name ever, second only to Wendy Darling from Peter Pan. Both names remind me of a British dude, like maybe Hugh Grant or something. Right? Just put a comma in there and think of England, and suddenly it's the best name ever. Anyway, Whitney is going on a major photo shoot for a band called Red Jumpsuit Apparatus. Lisa puts Whitney totally in charge, and warns her that bands are notoriously difficult, and that if anything goes wrong, it's Whitney's fault. Whitney is up for it.

Heidi and Jen head to a bridal boutique so Heidi can try on dresses. Heidi comes out wearing a dress, and says that she's excited but kind of freaked. She's not sure if Spencer is excited, which should be a sign, but Heidi's too dumb to realize that. It's a sign that Spencer's not excited, but it's also a sign that Heidi doesn't know whether he is or not. Jen wonders if Heidi ever worries about falling out of love, and Heidi goes into her usual denial routine about how she and Spencer are PERFECT and MEANT FOR EACH OTHER. Even Jen is a bit dubious.

Whitney and Lauren arrive at an apartment (I guess?) to have the band members try on some jeans for the photo shoot the next day. One of the dudes admits on national television that he wears ladies' size 8 jeans. Lauren and Whitney end up inviting the guys out to a bar that night. As they walk back to the car, Lauren wonders if it's okay to hang out with the band after hours.

Lauren, Whitney, and Audrina show up to the bar, and the band is already there. The guys want to do shots, but Whitney is worried how it will affect the photo shoot tomorrow. Ladies' Jeans tries to flirt with Lauren over a shot called a Red-Headed Slut, but Lauren isn't having it. They all do a shot (I guess -- the glasses look huge, but I'm old and haven't done a shot in a bar in years). One of the band members asks if the girls have plans afterwards, and Whitney has to be the buzzkill again and remind them about the photo shoot. The band members decide to do another shot, and Lauren and Whitney look worried. I think they are fighting a losing battle here.

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The Hills

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