The Hills

Episode Report Card
Lady Lola: D | 812 USERS: C
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Friends in Lo(w) Places

Across town, McIntern helps out with Lo's shoot at Smashbox. Lo asks again how things are going with Brody (didn't she just do that like a day ago in Hills time?). McSkeptic says things are okay but wryly wonders how you can get rid of "ghosts from the past." Lo obliquely states the obvious -- that Brody has been "dating" other girls lately -- and that she wonders if he still has feelings for his old flames. McKronie takes this to mean Kristin. Lo tells her to be observant and trusts her instincts.

That night, Kristin and BS resume their manhunt, this time roping Audrina into their foolhardy venture. Brody and Sleazy T show up. Brody hugs Audrina in greeting, and Kristin barely registers it. Which is kind of hilarious, because about two episodes ago Kristin would have thrown a fit. Now that she has someone else to focus her vitriol on, however, all is well. Yay for the natural order of reality TV!

But I digress... Brody makes his way over to Kristin, and throws her off-balance with a compliment. They banter back and forth about who didn't call and who should have apologized, yadda yadda. Brody starts in a repeat of his half-hearted apology from last week. Kristin shushes him because she just wants the display of attrition, not the actuality of it. Brody puts back on his playboy mug and is all, "You know I love you." She says she loves him back. He tries to toast her to their mutual love, but she's halfway through downing an entire glass of wine. So he toasts the air while she finishes. Then she slurs, "Thassss was rilly sweeeet." He claims he means it -- which, he probably does because he's shallow as a kiddie pool. They smile at each other with the sex eyes. And thus the episode is complete. No sex eyes, no show!

The night carries on. Of course JB shows up -- totally not set up -- and says he's "all grubby." Has he seen himself before? Ladies and gentlemen, I give you Exhibits A, B and C. He sits next to Audrina on a banquette. She wonders if she should move. He snarks that "Spike" wouldn't like them hanging out. She mentions that she shouldn't talk to him about such things (only when you can use it as ammo or bait, right Audrina?). He says he'd tell her anything (because he doesn't give a damn how she feels). She laughs at the awkwardness. He mistakes this for happiness, so she goes with it, and they vapidly talk about how happy they are.

The Hills

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