The Hills

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Lady Lola: D | Grade It Now!
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Friends in Lo(w) Places

Back at the slum bar, some other lowly creature who looks like a poor man's Lenny Venito tries to chat up Kristin by asking her if she's seen Can't Hardly Wait. Because nothing's sexier than out-of-nowhere 12-year-old movie references. BS -- who, I think it's worth noting, is getting absolutely no love -- dismisses him summarily, leaving Kristin to complain about how he reeks of booze. In a bar? Imagine that! Both girls scan the crowd and all nearby doorways for an actual cute guy. No success. BS restates that they're on the manhunt. Kristin drolls that she's always on a manhunt.

The next day, Audrina and ShePratt go shopping for handbags. ShePratt asks for an update on Audrina's relationship. She says that Bob Gel-dof has been living with her while he's in between houses, and it's been "too much." Luckily, he's moving out soon. And tonight she's heading to The Viper Room to "check out bands" for her fake job, if ShePratt and Lo want to join. ShePratt says she's down, and they pick out horrible bags to complement their beach trips and spray-tan addictions.

Elsewhere, Lo welcomes McKandidate to her internship interview. She gives the spiel to the interviewer, who invites her to a photo shoot the next day without any compelling reasons because, let's be honest, it's an internship. What could she really screw up?

Meanwhile, BS interrupts the tail end of Kristin's training session. Kristin's trainer makes a swift exit so the girls can grouse about how much the dating scene in L.A. sucks. Kristin claims that she's really putting herself out there, but BS thinks she's still a bit burned by Brody's rejection. Kristin says she's not reacting badly to the rejection but that she regrets losing her friendship with Brody. Uh huh... 'cause that's what he's good for. Uh huh. Kristin is surprised that Brody hasn't been the one to initiate conversation or apologize to her -- you know, since she's the one who told him to shut up twice before walking out on him. Also? It's called nookie. He's getting it. You're not. Sour grapes, girl. At least she admits that she's hurt by the whole situation.

That night, Lo and ShePratt don their "rocker clothes" to join Audrina as she checks out a truly terrible band whose name doesn't merit a mention. Take that, MTV propaganda machine! And! Lest you think the suffering is over, JB's band (also not worth mentioning by name) takes the stage. Lo and ShePratt can't believe that JB is actually in a band. Lo awesomely says, with not a touch of irony, "I always thought that was a joke?!" Heh. Audrina explains that JB is the drummer and that he's shy. "Like a Muppet!" chimes in Lo. Double heh. While ShePratt marvels some more that JB has something going on beyond vague drug-addled-ness, Audrina wonders if she should stay or go since seeing JB (who probably can't even see her) is "really uncomfortable." Oh shut it, chica, this is all you're good for.

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The Hills

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