The Hills

Episode Report Card
Lady Lola: D | Grade It Now!
Friends in Lo(w) Places

But I digress... Brody makes his way over to Kristin, and throws her off-balance with a compliment. They banter back and forth about who didn't call and who should have apologized, yadda yadda. Brody starts in a repeat of his half-hearted apology from last week. Kristin shushes him because she just wants the display of attrition, not the actuality of it. Brody puts back on his playboy mug and is all, "You know I love you." She says she loves him back. He tries to toast her to their mutual love, but she's halfway through downing an entire glass of wine. So he toasts the air while she finishes. Then she slurs, "Thassss was rilly sweeeet." He claims he means it -- which, he probably does because he's shallow as a kiddie pool. They smile at each other with the sex eyes. And thus the episode is complete. No sex eyes, no show!

The night carries on. Of course JB shows up -- totally not set up -- and says he's "all grubby." Has he seen himself before? Ladies and gentlemen, I give you Exhibits A, B and C. He sits next to Audrina on a banquette. She wonders if she should move. He snarks that "Spike" wouldn't like them hanging out. She mentions that she shouldn't talk to him about such things (only when you can use it as ammo or bait, right Audrina?). He says he'd tell her anything (because he doesn't give a damn how she feels). She laughs at the awkwardness. He mistakes this for happiness, so she goes with it, and they vapidly talk about how happy they are.

Up at the bar, Kristin pointedly asks where McKnockOffKristin is. Brody plays into Kristin's game by saying he likes the girl but she wouldn't stop talking about Kristin on a one-on-one date with Brody, and that she asked if she had something to worry about. "Yes, you do!" shoots back Kristin devilishly. Brody just smiles at her.

Back on the banquette, JB again asks where "Spike" is. Audrina says he's out on a gig, so JB asks, "When Spike's away, Audrina will play?" Audrina laughs at his lame attempt at a flirty joke. JB riffs on various versions of the phrase "Don't tell anybody." While Audrina falls back into the banquette -- and into old habits -- miming locking her mouth and throwing away the key. Bad idea, girl.

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The Hills




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