The Hills

Episode Report Card
Kim: A- | Grade It Now!
Girls Night Out

Bolthouse. Heidi calls Spencer and asks him to come by so that they can talk. The audio of Spencer's side of the conversation sounds like the teacher from "Peanuts".

Whitney and Lauren start lining the models up for the show. The show begins. Kirstie Alley (I think) is in the audience. One model goes out wearing what looks like patterned tights over underwear with no skirt or pants or anything. I don't get fashion. Finally, all of the models go out for the finale and there is applause. Lauren and Whitney hug and Whitney thanks Lauren for all of her help.

Bolthouse. Could they drag this out any more? Heidi joins Spencer in his car and starts yelling at him about his actions at S Bar. She wants to know if he wants to be single. Spencer says one of the few wise things he's ever said in his life: "You call this a relationship vacation; anyone else on the planet Earth calls that breaking up." Heidi throws out a bunch of excuses like how she needs space and she was embarrassed when he showed up and she didn't like him flirting with other girls. She needs to just say what she really wants - she wants to be able to do what she wants for an indefinite period of time, and to have Spencer there waiting when she returns. But she knows that's unreasonable so she keeps dancing around the subject. Spencer denies flirting with anyone, and says that he doesn't think he can just wait around forever and sit home alone while Heidi has her "me time." I hate it when Spencer makes sense.

Kelly Crow-trone walks up to Lauren and Whitney and actually says "Oh Em Gee" out loud like a geezer. She tells Whitney that she's moved up the ladder to "bitch in training" and that Lauren has gone from "slow mo to fashion glow." Is she on drugs? What is she even talking about? Kelly Crow-trone offers Lauren a job and says that they're going to start making changes in the L.A. office. Jessica, who's standing nearby, looks around like "What the fuck? I'm being replaced by a reality show whore?" Kelly issues a bunch of bitchy orders to Jessica, who is panicking and surely has started a cold sweat. As she should. I hope Jessica goes crazy, rips off her wig, and blows up Hillside Villas in the season finale.

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The Hills




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