The Hills
Hi Lauren, It's Spencer…

Episode Report Card
Angel Cohn: B | 1 USERS: A+
It's Too Late to Apologize

Previously: Audrina and Brody badly ended their not-fling which has put a crimp in their friendship. Lauren had to fire ShePratt who basically is the most cluelessly oblivious person on the face of the planet. And Speidi got engaged "for real." This time it is serious because he gave her a ring and everything. The shiny little piece of bling makes up for a lot, but she's not shallow at all or anything.

Heidi takes ShePratt to lunch and she can't even sit down before she tells her sister-in-law to be (again) that she's engaged. ShePratt seems excited that it's going to be a big "princess" wedding. Gag. She explains how she really wants Lauren at the wedding and she expects ShePratt to invite her. ShePratt is like, "Dude, she just fired me," but Heidi says that she's the only one who can do it. Has no one on this show ever heard of invitations... the kind that go in the mail. Or maybe a Save the Date note? Nothing? Bridezilla reiterates that she really wants Lauren to be there, with a devilish glare. Credits.

Audrina's with Lo, shopping. They are discussing the invitations they got to the Speidi wedding. So apparently they do know how to mail them. Then why the big deal about ShePratt inviting Lauren personally? Whatever. The two dullest girls on this show (at least since Whitney left) speculate about if Lauren will go to the wedding. Then they look for clothes for some Nylon party. Lo literally recites the guest list, saving Brody for last. Audrina worries that Jayde's going to freak out. Girls tend to do that when you sleep with their boyfriends. Lo advises that Audrina gives the entire group a hello, and then to just go do her own thing. And scene. So boring. Please don't give them more screen time when Lauren is gone next season.

Lauren and ShePratt meet for lunch and discuss the heat, and a very important issue plaguing our nation: if you put the top down on your convertible, how can you avoid getting a seatbelt tan? ShePratt avoids the dreaded tan line by wearing her restraint improperly. Lauren just rolls her eyes and changes the subject to ShePratt's employment situation. ShePratt passive aggressively says that she wasn't expecting to get fired "by her good friend Lauren." Lauren is so over this. Then ShePratt says that Speidi is getting married for realz this time. She starts begging Lauren to come to the wedding saying that it would mean a lot to Heidi. Again, Lauren doesn't want to deal. ShePratt says that she realizes that asking for his favor is going to put a toll on their friendship (more than Lauren firing her?) but it would mean the world to Heidi. Wait, I'm confused -- did Lauren not get a real invite? Did it get lost in the mail? She seems oblivious to the fact that this wedding is even happening. Doesn't she live in the same house as Lo, who already said that she got her invite? Oh, this show. It vexes me so. Lady Lola had better have enjoyed her vacay. Lauren says she's not going. No way. No how. Can't say as I blame her.

At some place called Majestic Golf Land (not nearly as exciting as it sounds), Spencer and his friend Charlie discuss meeting with Wild Bill. Spencer, who is clearly medicated or getting paid so much to keep this relationship together that he can't wipe the grin off his face, says that this is the happiest he's ever been in his entire life. He's just worried about Heidi's mom and Lauren. He doesn't think the wedding will be "special" if "that girl" is there, but it would mean a lot to Heidi. Charlie says to suck it up and invite her. Spencer says that he will never apologize. It isn't in his nature. He smarms this last part right at the camera. Ugh.

Heidi goes dress shopping. They are all ginormous and poofy. She picks one that is big and seems to have feathers or something on it. Whatever. Bridezilla says that she feels like a princess and she's really excited for her perfect day... with Lauren. ShePratt says she gave her the invite, but she's pretty sure she's not coming. Heidi says that she'll be OK, because she's got ShePratt and her sister Holly as friends. What does it say that your only friends are related to you? ShePratt tells Heidi that she looks gorgeous in her dress and that should totally make up for the fact that her ex-bestie wants absolutely nothing to do with her.

Lo, ShePratt, Audrina and Lauren are having lunch together. They seem as surprised by this fact as I do. They relive the good old days. Like that time when Steph told Audrina that she and Lauren were going down for picking on poor little Spencer. Lauren feels that everyone has hated each other at some point. Audrina starts to bring up Heidi's name, and Lauren interrupts to clarify the chain of hatred. The chart breaks down like this.

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The Hills




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