As the party dies down, Audrina heads to her room to call JB. Why??? She cuts it short when Brody enters her room. Double why??? He rambles for a while about how they're friends, and he doesn't want it to be awkward between them if they ever do hook up. Basically, "I totally have a girlfriend, so when I stick my wiener in your woo-woo, you can't be gettin' all attached. But I'm still totally gonna do it. And please don't tell my girlfriend about this, girl." Very boy-band of him. Of course, this is exactly the kind of smooth talk that gets Audrina's panties moist. So it's on.

The next morning, Lo reports to Lauren that Audrina stayed over at Brody's. They call in Steph for confirmation. For, like, the first time ever, Steph doesn't go balls-out on the gossip. What's that about? This could be her moment to shine! Lauren shakes her head skeptically while Lo and Steph circle the scandal like vultures waiting for an animal to take its last breath so they can feast.

Back in L.A., Speidi goes to lunch. Heidi notes what a fun weekend they had with the Cheese. If by fun you mean plucking-your-leg-hairs-out-one-at-a-time excruciating, then yes. It was a rollicking good time! Spencer reaches to new heights of convolution by implying that Heidi is not the good-hearted, down-to-earth, "Aw shucks" kind of girl she occasionally claims to be with people like her mother and the Cheese. He throws in, "I think if I acted like Colby for a week, you'd be so damn bored, you'd probably be cheating on me by Friday." In essence, she has changed, in some ways irrespective of his Svengali-like influence, and can never change back. Literally. That nose is stuck on her fake face. Heidi tries to point out that he could learn a thing or two from Mr. Jackcheese, such as not being a total dickwad to her whole family. Spencer dismissively agrees that he is really going to embrace "that whole Leave It to Beaver vibe." Heidi throws in the towel, and Spencer smiles smugly, knowing he's won this bout. But only by a hair from his flesh beard.