The Hills

Episode Report Card
Lady Lola: C | Grade It Now!
You Been Working Out a Lot?

Previously: Lauren repeatedly participated in her own misery by choosing shitty friends. Justin Bobby held a certain fascination for Audrina, despite his years-long irredeemable behavior. And no amount of roaring disapprovals from Heidi's family could be drowned out by Patron, so she and Spencer got fake married in Mexico.

Heidi's fake job. Brent briefs Heidi and Kim on the latest opening, in which they surely have zero participation. Apropos of this, he asks them how both of their vacations went. Heidi says she went to Mexico, then casually -- maybe embarrassedly -- drops in that she got married. Needless to say, Brent and Kim are dumbfounded. Heidi explains that there were margaritas involved and that it was "the craziest thing [she's] ever done." Oh, honey, if those are the book ends of your wedding story, then you best be looking into annulment proceedings. She gives Brent an awkward nod, as if to say, "No, I really am that stupid/brainwashed/desperate!" And thus is born Stepford Heidi! By way of moving on, Brent issues a disappointed but generally apathetic "All right..." Credits.

Beverly Hills. Lauren and Lo head to Warren Tricomi, the salon where Top Model's Season Six makeovers occurred -- OMG, please let one of them walk out of there a shaved head, or at least a poorly peroxided Afro! Inside, Lo asks who organized the black-tie soiree they're attending that night. Lauren says Bolthouse, so Lo wonders if Lauren will talk to Heidi. Lauren gives an emphatic headshake, so Lo asks if Lauren misses Heidi. Lauren reminds Lo that "the main reason" she cut off contact with Heidi (Spencer) is still in the picture. Lo brings up the wedding, which Holly told her about, and says that Holly mentioned that Heidi misses Lauren. Lauren snarks, "I mean, I'm sure she misses having friends, period." It's a nice, rare moment when Lauren realizes that she is not center of attention. Sure, she and Heidi had their blow-up, but at the end of the day Heidi has alienated herself from pretty much everyone she once cared about. Even Jen Bunney ain't been around these parts for a while. Hey! Did you ever notice that Stephanie and Jen Bunney are never in the same room? Hmmmm... Lauren concludes that her friendship with Heidi was so intense that middling civility isn't really in the cards for the two of them. Lo foreshadows that they'll have to see tonight.

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The Hills




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