The Hills

Episode Report Card
Lady Lola: C | Grade It Now!
You Been Working Out a Lot?

Inside the courtroom, they introduce themselves to the actor... er... I mean judge officiating the ceremony. She opens by punching the standard marital verbiage about entering the institution thoughtfully and respecting each other's honor and commitment. Spencer and Stepford Heidi join hands, and she says her vows. On Spencer's turn, though, he takes a long pause when it comes to "I do." He launches into an interrogation about Heidi's relationship with her mom, and the judge just looks on in confusion. Heidi wonders why Spencer is backing down at the last minute, so he finally admits that he has steamrolled her desires for the wedding. She starts crying and says that she shouldn't have to tell (read: convince) him that Darlene should be part of the wedding. Spencer -- just as he did, like, two seasons ago -- claims that he wants to give Heidi the wedding of her dreams. But this time he really means it. He says he'll "deal with it." My heart is positively aflutter with romance! He apologizes, says he loves her, and they exit the court room. Credits.

Two thoughts: First off, what gets me about the whole "Spencer's Valiant Moment" thing is that the one time when he is supposed to shake things up and give us an unscripted moment of change is so clearly and unabashedly (IMHO) calculated to extend his plot line on the show. Second, and on a somewhat related note, it does not bode well that Lauren barely registers in the closing scenes of her own show's season finale. Just saying...

After Show highlights: Can I just say how much I love Dan and Jessi? I am so enamored of how they aren't even slightly afraid to make fun of these asshats to their faces. Also, JB is completely stoned. Like, he doesn't even know where he is. Whereas Spencer actually exhibits some self-awareness by kind of admitting that he sucks. Also, Lauren managed to eff up a clearly pre-planned announcement about next season! WTF, LC? Whitney totally laughs at her. And speaking of the girl that Page Six magazine dubbed "The New Carrie Bradshaw," Whitney decided to wear a practical lilac bush on her head. Come to think of it, that comparison may not be so far off...

Discuss this episode in our forums, then see what vlogger Sean Crespo thinks of The Hills when he has No Prior Knowledge!

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The Hills




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