The Hills

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Stephanie Sucks

Previously, Brody hated Stephanie and wasn't afraid to call her out on her bullshit. And he also made her cry. And then Doug dissed her while Stephanie eavesdropped. So then Stephanie hooked up with a dude named Cameron who knew Brody, which was surely just a coincidence. But she wanted Cameron to set Brody straight because she's just a girl, and thus unable to be assertive or speak her mind or whatever. Meanwhile, Audrina met a new dude but was still playing games with JB, and pretending like she didn't love it, but secretly she totally did love it, or she wouldn't still be doing it.

Epic Records. Audrina's fake job. Audrina and her cubicle buddy discuss how JB knows how to push her buttons, and every time Audrina finds a new guy, JB reels her back in. Cubicle Buddy thinks Audrina is finally starting to figure things out. We'll see. The true test will be if she tells JB to fuck off, won't it? Because if she's anything like her friend Lauren, she'll talk a good game but never actually do anything about it.

No ellipses in this week's episode title! I feel like that's a good sign. Although having Audrina in the opening scene is a bad sign. Stephanie and Lauren go to a fabric store for a class assignment. Lauren apparently missed a bunch of classes while she was in Cabo, which is super-responsible of her. Lauren explains how the guys shipped in a bunch of girls to Cabo so it wasn't that fun for her. Stephanie confesses that she's together with Cameron now, for real, and Lauren is happy for her. Lauren invites Stephanie and Cameron to go out, but warns that Brody will be there. Stephanie acts like she's nervous about the idea of Cameron sticking up for her to Brody, when you know that's totally what she wants. And I have to say again that I find the notion that you need a boyfriend so that he can stick up for you to other douchebags so offensive. Grow a spine, Stephanie. Lauren promises it will be fun. Stephanie, you can tell, is already planning all sorts of drama.

LAL House. Brody and Lauren hang out by the pool. Lauren admits that she invited Stephanie to go out and Brody gets all snippy. Lauren says that Stephanie is in a good relationship right now. Brody wonders why Lauren wants to hang out with Stephanie at all, because she sucks. And Brody doesn't want to hang out with her. Because she sucks. Lauren asks him to just tolerate it for one night, and then goes into this weird psychobabble explanation of how Stephanie's problem is that Spencer has convinced her that Cameron needs to fight Brody. Or something. It was really convoluted. Brody goes all tough guy and says that if Cameron steps to him at all, he'll pull Cameron outside and tell him a few things about Stephanie. Wow, wouldn't it be ironic if that happened exactly? So then Lauren pushes Brody in the pool. Hilarious!

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The Hills

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