The Hills

Episode Report Card
Lady Lola: B | Grade It Now!
New Dogs, Same Old Dicks

Everyone has been shoved out onto the balcony and is being told to scream and shout to make it look the party's happening -- but also to dampen the sound so Brody and Audrina can chat. Brody mentions the weird dynamic thanks to The Break and his reviving the friendship with Kristin. Audrina can't resist sniping that Kristin might get mad at Audrina for talking to Brody. Brody follows the ham-fisted segue to ask what's going on between Kristin and Audrina. Audrina pretty succinctly portrays Kristin as scheming megaslut and warns Brody not to go there. Which is all well and good. Shit talk as you please, kids. More to the point, though, the exchange is anchored by a side shot of Audrina talking to Brody with a dead-on front shot of Kristin in the background. Kristin looks straight-up possessed. She's all dead in the eyes and a little too focused for comfort. Maybe she's doing some sort of Salvatore/Cullen eavesdropping thing.

A bit later, Kristin asks Brody how his talk with Audrina was. She suggests maybe she should approach her and clear the air. Brody thinks that translates to "punch her in the face." If only! With a devilish smile in his eyes, Brody makes it happen.

Kristin pulls Audrina aside and says it's stupid that they're dancing circles around each other. She brings up how Audrina blew their lunch date off. Instead of pointing out that she was just giving tit for tat after Kristin stood her up, Audrina less diplomatically says she doesn't owe Kristin anything. Kristin outmaneuvers poor, feeble-minded Audi and says that that's exactly why it doesn't matter if she dates JB. They're not friends. They don't owe each anything. Point taken, says Audrina in a very "Are we done now?" fashion.

With nothing left to scuffle over, Kristin desperately realizes she has time to fill and pulls a low-blow. She says that JB said he and Audrina were never together and how that must be "hard for [Audrina] to hear as a woman." Ouch. Then she takes it up a notch: "How could you let him do that to you?" I see we've moved to the full-on insults phase now. Backed into a corner, Audrina pulls her only punch: She met with JB for "drinks" the other night, wherein he denied being with Kristin and said he never got over Audrina. Audrina smugly sips her drink, and Kristin contorts her face into a "You got me!" grimace. Audrina suggests they keep their distance, saying she doesn't care about Kristin's personal comings-and-going. Kristin sees her veiled put-down and raises it, saying, "I don't want to be friends with you, and I'm done with you." So glad they decided to clear the air and put aside the animosity!

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The Hills




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