People's Rev. Steph shows up for her job interview and consults with Lauren whether she looks professional enough. Lauren ignores the 400 stray hairs that escaped her flat iron and says yes. Steph says she stayed up all night perfecting her resume. OMG, you know that shit is in, like, 14 point Comic Sans font. And her top reference is Spencer Pratt, followed by Heidi Montag, then her parole officer. Lauren asks if ShePratt is ready to dance with the Devil, then calls up to Kelly to tell her that the ShePratt has arrived.
Kelly acts totally nonchalant as she greets everyone's favorite recovered meth face, but it is fact that, on the inside, she is loving all the drama potential. She probably just had to wipe foam off of her mouth at the prospect of having such a shit-stirring weakling whose sole purpose is to be fucked with -- UNPAID. I know I did. Straightaway, Kelly tells Stephanie "I've heard a lot about you." Some might call this a banal greeting. I call it evidence! She immediately points out that Stephanie looks professional. She was listening, y'all. Just lapping it in. Then she starts to zero in, asking, "Are you okay?" This we know from experience is like the eerie silence just before a tigress pounces.
Steph admits she's nervous, thereby putting a "Kick Me" sign on her own back before the actual interview begins. She hands over her resume. Strike two! Kelly says she doesn't normally read resumes but will condescend to read this one. Before she can even get past Steph's address, however, Steph is barreling into her mission in life, which is basically to use People's Rev as a means to achieving her lifelong dreaming of becoming a handbag doyenne. Oh, honey, that stepping stone biz didn't work on Top Model, and it ain't gonna work here. Ms. Cutrone takes her to task about six ways to Sunday for being a douchebag, and Steph is immediately stunned into silence. Things just keeping getting worse for the dubious Miss Pratt when Kelly asks her if she can do basic intern things like print labels. Steph is all, "What's a label?" As you can imagine, things do not improve when Kelly notes Steph's French language skill and tries to converse with her en Français. Steph just sits there looking like a wax figure version of herself. This is almost too painful to be wonderful. Almost. Kelly is now fully laughing at her with that throaty, derisive smoker's laugh we've all come to know and love. She warns Steph that there is no crying in baseball... or, as it were, at the People's Rev offices. Steph tries to redeem herself by enthusiastically saying she'd like to develop a strong backbone and that she's ready for this. Kelly: "Are you sure?! Not by this resume, honey... Not by this resume." OMG. Best. Scene. Ever. I bet ShePratt and A-holette already have much to discuss.