The Hills

Episode Report Card
Kim: B- | Grade It Now!
Moving Out

Audrina's new house. Audrina brings her sister Casey over. Audrina giggles that there are a lot of stairs, but it's "a good butt workout" Audrina gives her a tour and explains how she wants to decorate it. She mentions a lot of candles and flowy white. So she wants it to look like the video for "King of Pain" by The Police? Audrina's sister is all tatted up. Audrina starts going on and on about her fantasies about how she and JB can be all romantic while they're there and make as much noise as they want and I officially know too much about their sex life now. Casey asks if Audrina bought this for herself or for her and JB, and Audrina just shrugs. This is not going to end well, is it?

LAL House, which is soon to be LL House. [Because ladies love cool JB! - Zach] Lauren and Lo discuss how their goldfish is an awesome pet. Can you believe the fascinating conversations these two have? Lo feels guilty that things didn't turn out the way they had hoped with Audrina. Lauren thinks Audrina never really felt at home there. Then they start musing about JB, and how Lo was the one who gave him the Justin-Bobby nickname, and how he'll never forgive her. Dude, he tried to give himself a different name for a while. We actually had a kid in my high school who did that. His name was Mike, and I guess he thought it was too common, so he decided to change his name. To Blackie Webb. That's right. John Stamos's character on General Hospital. And the craziest part is that some people really started calling him Blackie. I went to a weird high school. Anyway, Lo brings up the specter of JB moving in with Audrina. Lauren is sure they will all still be friends. But not all that sure. Also, what did Lo do to her hair? It's like eight shades blonder, and she looks all washed out.

Heidi and Kimberly are at the event. They talk about how awesome the event is, even though it's barely started. You don't get to relax until the event is over. And even then, not really. Heidi heads off to get a drink. Spencer and Stephanie both show up too, as well as Audrina and JB. JB is an asshole, because he's wearing a hoodie with the hood up. They all toast to Audrina moving out of Lauren's house. Spencer asks JB if he and Audrina are moving in together and JB just ignores him. I have to admire JB a little bit for ignoring Spencer. Heidi's boss is nearby, and Heidi's yelling out, "I'm so wasted! Give me more tequila!" I'm not even exaggerating. She is the Drunk Girl from SNL. Or any college party. The big CEO comes over and asks where Brent is. Heidi drunkenly offers to go find him. He asks very pointedly if she's still working, and Heidi shoots back, "Are you?" And then Spencer asks the CEO if he wants a shot. CLASSY! The CEO walks away. Heidi asks if he's okay, and he says he'll be okay when they're working. Heidi and Kimberly get the message and head off back to work while Spencer takes a drink and just kind of grossly grins to himself.

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The Hills




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