Finally Kristin arrives with her pussy posse, saying how random it is to see all these people she hasn't seen in forever -- except for, like, on her TV every Monday night. She gives JB a big, enthusiastic hug as Audrina watches from across the pool. ShePratt gets out her shit-stirring paddle and comments how Kristin made a beeline for JB. Audrina thinks friends have a moral obligation not to mack on their friends' exes. Fair enough, Audrina. Doesn't apply in this situation, though. ShePratt asks if JB even said hi to Audrina. She pouts that he didn't.

Dum duh-duh dum! ShePratt flies into action, stomping over to ask JB if he said hi to Audrina. He claims they did and that they're cool. She snits around a bit, trying to find another angle, both mentally and camera-wise. Kristin tells Stephanie to leave JB alone, all the while Heidi is already practically holding her back. ShePratt insists JB needs to respect Audrina. Kristin takes her cue and asks what ShePratt's implying. At which point Audrina comes over to blind them all into submission with her white teeth -- they may be whiter than ever now that she has the blonde highlights. Kristin snaps that she was just trying to say hi to friends and that they came at her "like fucking piranhas." This would be pretty awesome if it even had a shred of authenticity.

More hullabaloo ensues. Kristin tells Stephanie to pipe down. Awesome. Then Audrina tells Kristin to put her dukes up. Semi-awesome. Kristin issues a throwdown. Audrina comes all up in Kristin's face and towers over her, actually touching her face in the melee. All the while everyone is screaming over everyone else. Finally Kristin tells both of them to stay out of her business (does she know what show she's on?). They kind of stumble away, and Kristin utters the titular taunt, plus a fuck for good measure. As ShePratt pot-kettles with Speidi about what a bad influence Kristin is, Audrina stands solitarily to the side looking a bit defeated, and Kristin shouts to them both, "You just fucked yourself!" Eight minutes in, my friends, and it's catfight central! The people in the crowd seem to be enjoying it as much as I am. As much as I enjoyed me some LC, she did become a bit of a drip at the end. And now there's no good girl to slow down shit. This is what they call a guilty pleasure.