The Hills

Episode Report Card
Lady Lola: B- | 490 USERS: B-
YOU GRADE IT
Incompetence Reigns Supreme

Elsewhere, Heidi and much-loathed Kimberly also take a long lunch. Kim notes that they have an event in 12 days, and Heidi claims she has "so much" to get done. Her long list includes getting her nails done and buying a dress. What stress. Meanwhile, in practically the same breath, she says how so nice it is to have time away from the office. You know? The one where she fake works? And brings all of her personal drama to ruin others' days? It's really getting in the way of her busy manicure and shopping schedule. (Not to mention whoring for the paps and burning up the pop music charts!) Heidi gets to the meat of the matter: BS texted her to invite her down to the bar for another friendly chat. Kim starts to suggest that Heidi should wash her hands of this girl, then remembers that her only function on the show is to facilitation drama and give bad advice, so she tells Heidi to go talk to BS once and for all -- with as much confrontation as possible, please.

People's Rev. Lauren realizes what a hard job Whitney had once, being the only person who did work up in here, as Steph chases her shadow and plays with a ball of yarn in the corner. Lauren briefs her on a fashion shoot she has to work tomorrow, coincidentally with Lo's new employers. On a somewhat related note, does Steph look like a zombie this episode? More so than usual? Methinks she's back on the bad stuff. How else could you explain the fact that she is barely treading water with this whole noun-verb-adjective-noun-verb thing. Not noticing this in the slightest is Lauren, who seems genuinely excited to style a shoot by herself. Which of course means the outcome will be FAIL.

Apropos of this, Lauren must head out to run some more work-related errands and decides to leave Steph one single responsibility. The entirety of which is to pack a specifically designated rack of clothing. She explains, in precise detail, exactly what she needs Steph to do. All the while Steph stares off into space, thinking, say, about how her nails weirdly seem longer this week than last. Lauren tries to reel her back in, but ShePratt gets a phone call. Her ring tone is "No Diggity," a fact I will let stand alone. Another coworker sneers at her, and yet the ShePratt proceeds to answer the phone. Naturally, it's her latest John. She chats and flirts all breezy-like as Lauren tries to flag her down in vain. Lauren heads out and Steph's all, "Oh, it's not a bad time. Just at work!" Okay, for anyone out there who doesn't know it yet, that's your cue to suggest having whatever inconsequential conversation you had in mind later. Instead, Steph tells him about the fashion shows that People's Rev are working on, laughing, "You have to give me some credit. I do work." Even this guy can tell how worthless she is. And he's known her for, like, five minutes. I'm stuck between "Ha!" and "Argh!" It's the recapping equivalent of having sand in your pants.

The Hills

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