The Hills

Episode Report Card
Lady Lola: B- | Grade It Now!
Incompetence Reigns Supreme

Previously: Lauren took a professional gamble on ShePratt, using her own credibility as ante. That's what we in the high rollers' circle call a "no-win." Spencer gambled that Heidi wouldn't find out about his fake flirtation with Bartender Stacie, whom I call BS because creating it is her sole function. Adam DiVello gambled that audiences would find an Audrina-Brody hook up interesting. We all lost. The ultimate loser, however, is Justin Bobby -- for reasons unrelated to Brodrina...

Audrina continues to wear that stupid hat as she meets for dinner with Lauren and Lo. They gab about Lo's exciting new job with Smashbox cosmetics. Lo looks forward to "all the boys" that will be stopping by her company. You mean all the gays? You do realize you work in makeup, right? No matter, because it's clearly just a ham-fisted segue for Lauren to ask Audrina about JB. Audrina says he found out about Hawaii and all of its non-hooking up with Brody. She says he has been calling and texting her like mad. On the upside, she doesn't seem to care. This is progress. Just for kicks, she throws in, "I mean, why would I be faithful to him?" Credits.

The next day, Lauren and Steph head to lunch and discuss their wardrobes. Steph wears high heels because, and I quote, "I'm just, like, scared of Kelly. I feel like she wants everything professional." God, imagine that! And at a business, no less! Lauren suggests a sensible ballet flat, then ponders how quickly hiring an army of ShePratts could drive Kelly's company into the ground. Given the previews, it seems like one will suffice. To wit, Steph says she's going to stop stressing about work and go on a manhunt. Because she was so gung-ho about her burgeoning useless intern-slash-handbag-designing career course as it was. Good Lord, she's dense. Lauren gently suggests this is an ill-conceived idea considering how much she sucks at work as-is. But subtlety does not hang well in Prattville, and Steph continues having a one-sided conversation about the latest schlub to get stuck in her rancid honey pot. Lauren repeats that Steph shouldn't abandon work just for a manhunt, but she literally has to wave Steph back to reality because the ShePratt is too busy conjuring the face of her new fella. The girl literally cannot multitask. It's kind of sad, really. Lauren lets out a disgruntled sigh, waiting for the moment she can be rid of this once-methfaced leech.

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The Hills




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