Previously: Property Virgins (and no other kind): Heidi and Spencer. WWE SmackDown: Kristin and Audrina. Blind Date: Kristin and Justin Bobby. "But before things went any further, I knew I should try to talk to Audrina face to face..."
Kristin meets with Bartender Stacie to gear up with her one-on-one with Audrina. BS wonders what they'll talk about. They both marvel how they've never gotten in a fight in the five seconds they've known each other. (Shocking!) They agree it would be a major fight, since they're both such bitches. Kristin acknowledges that she had drinks with JB, though she claims it was to make sure they would stay "just friends." Yeah, that was really clear when you were telling him about your amazing bed. She says if Audrina found out that JB offered to take her for a "ride" on his bike, she'd be really pissed. And then the conversation literally descends into nonsense. "Like, I don't know." -- "Yeah." -- "Nah." Glad to see this season has really raised the bar intellect-wise. Credits.
Audrina hangs out with her tattooed sister Casey. Audrina mentions Kristin's lunch invitation, so Casey brings up what JB thinks about the whole imbroglio. They both agree JB's a douche. Word. The jury's still out on whether he and Kristin have hooked up yet. Casey warns Audrina not to trust Kristin. She asks if Audrina is going to have lunch with her. Audrina: "Nooooo." Casey: "Duuuude." Seriously. Didn't the old scene tag-outs used to at least pretend to be meaningful?
ShePratt arrives at the new Speidi Web. Heidi seems to be jazzed about the new place, despite once calling it a porno pad. She says it's not very kid-proof. Spencer's all, "And that, my dear, is the point." ShePratt deems them the most immature married couple she knows. Yikes! Heidi somehow thinks that having a baby will mature Spencer. Because it worked so well for Levi Johnston... Even ShePratt says "Au contraire." Now you know if ShePratt is doling out the sage advice that surely the apocalypse is upon us. Heidi insists they have a great relationship ("Ha, ha!" says the couples counselor they pay $300 an hour to), but that Spencer needs something else to focus on so he can realize what's important. Spencer decides not to stifle that laugh. It's a "Fuck you" of the highest order. What's new?