That night, Lo and Audrina meet the band backstage before their showcase. Boring.

Across town at ShePratt's party, girls writhe. Frankie and Brody ogle. JB shows up with Kristin. JB has shaved his Joaquin Phoenix face. He's also wearing suspenders. Who knew it was possible for him to look worse than before? Brody makes fun of him to his face. Awesome. Jayde says she hates Kristin. (Shocking, since she hates everyone other than Brody and Mr. Jägermeister.) Kristin senses the vibe and asks JB is he wants to hit up the bar. Once there, Kristin claims she's trying to get to know everyone, but they're not responding well to her. I wonder why! Perhaps the slew of expletives flying from your mouth at a Saturday afternoon pool party? She says that Brody and everyone have vouched for JB, and, thus far, she is impressed. He tells her it's good to know. God, they're boring as all hell.

Speaking of boring, the band starts over at Audrina's gig.

And back across town, Kristin appears to have taken part in some of the shots mixed by writhing bartenders as she hangs all over JB and tells him they'll base their opinions of each only on one-on-one experience, not others' opinions. She warns him that she'll cut him off if he fucks with her. He claims he has nothing more to hide. Since when? Five minutes ago? Thirty seconds?

More boring music at Audrina's gig. It's like Sixpence None the Richer meets Marry Me Jane meets blehhhhhh. All the while, Kristin and JB are making out at da club. Brody and Jayde watch and point like middle schoolers. ShePratt looks on with concern and/or constipation. And Audrina looks pensive at the showcase, as if she could possibly know what's happening in some venue across town. Kristin and JB exit stage left, if you know what I mean. Commercials.

Speidi Web 2.0. The cutest kid ever plays Wii tennis. Spencer walks in like the brat he is, pissed that the spotlight is taken away from him for half a second. Spencer lures the child out with cookies so he can give the Missus a talkin' to. Goodbye, Enzo! We love you! You're more interesting than all of these drips combined! In the aftermath of Enzogate 2009, we return to the central thesis of The Hills since Season 2: Spencer is a self-absorbed a-hole. Glad we're all on the same page... now more with cute, vaguely ethnic kids!