In Mexico, Heidi and Spencer are still drinking and Spencer is still nagging Heidi to marry him. If you have to nag the person, she's just not that into you, dude. Heidi tries to give him reasons why not but Spencer must be a Scientologist because he just talks over her and tries to brainwash her. He claims that it will be a secret marriage with no drama or stress, and their families won't let them get married legit anyway. Heidi says it would be crazy. Spencer sees an opening and says that he's obsessed with her and that's why he keeps her from everyone. Well, at least he's admitting it. Also, is that supposed to be romantic? Heidi finally agrees to do it, and they start making out, but Spencer pulls away and tells her to save some for the honeymoon because he's afraid of girls. Seriously, is there anyone less sexual on television than Spencer Pratt? He's so gross and puffy and has a weird beard. Ugh. They kiss again and Spencer is practically looking at the producers with one eye like, "Is that good? Do I really have to kiss her again?" And then they head off to get married. Because it's just that easy.
Lauren and Whitney go out to lunch. Lauren thinks the whole thing is so weird. Whitney muses that she can't even figure out how to go grocery shopping, like does she take a cab or ride a bike with a basket? She needs to get one of those pull carts, from what my Manhattan-dwelling friends tell me. Lauren promises that Whitney will get settled in and make new friends in no time. They reminisce about their first meeting, when they were told that their outfits sucked and they were forced to change clothes. They remember past fashion shows and parties and marvel at how long ago it was. Lauren gets choked up and says that she never expected to make a friend at her job. Whitney thinks they're lucky to have found each other. Lauren wipes away tears and says she's proud of Whitney but sad at the same time. This actually seems like genuine emotion! On this show? I don't even know where to put that. They leave the restaurant and hug goodbye, tears flowing.