It's morning in Mexico. Spencer wakes up in bed and his new chyron says "Heidi's husband." EW!! They say hello to each other as Mr. and Mrs. Pratt and Heidi asks him if he had this whole thing planned in advance. Spencer admits that he came up with the idea the day before they left, but he didn't know if she would go for it. Heidi says that the tequila helped. That's a nice thing to admit to your husband of less than one day: "I probably wouldn't have married you had I not been drunk." Do you think that's what Britney said to Jason Alexander in Vegas? Spencer wants to watch the video footage on their camera. They watch it and discuss how nervous and scared they were. Note that there's no footage of them actually getting married. And also, the footage of them walking out of the chapel is in daylight, when their discussion was happening at night. So... I'm guessing they didn't actually have a wedding ceremony? Because why wouldn't they have the show's cameras film it? Then they move on to discussing Heidi telling her mom, and how pissed she'll be. Heidi walks away from Spencer and checks herself out in the mirror, probably examining the boobs that Spencer bought her and reminding herself of the either literal or metaphorical contact she signed.

A bit later, Heidi and Spencer pick up their SUV (of course they drive an SUV, the idiots) and head home. Meanwhile, Whitney is arriving at LAX to fly to New York. Whatever will happen next week? How will we know what happens to Whitney in... the city?

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Kim plots world domination, one domain at a time, at her blog Fresh Hell. You can contact her at reedkim@gmail.com.