Vegas. Kristin and BS stay at the Palazzo. Hmmmm... just like Speidi did a few seasons back. Coincidence? I think not. They pop some 'pagne to kick off their trip. A rather late start for BS, frankly. I'm disappointed. Kristin and BS coordinate their hooker clothes lest they look too matchy-matchy. Because that would be the real sartorial tragedy here. Speaking of, Kristin's fur vest what? That thing is where Rachel Zoe goes to die a little each night. They vow not to bring up JB, L.A. or any of the messiness they've left in their Vegas-bound wake. Like those two dead hobos, for example. What happens in Barstow, stays in Barstow! They continue their fashion strategizing, and BS announces, "I need something that screams, 'I'm not a one-night stand... but maybe?'" Kristin finds this funny. Because she's paid to.
L.A. Speidi head in to den of starfucking Katsuya for Operation: Drunken Shellfish. Spencer jumps at the chance to order some hot sake, but Heidi abstains. The fleshbrow arches. It raises yet higher when Heidi eschews mercury-filled tuna for beef. Heidi muses that she wonders what Enzo is doing. Spencer: "Grooooooan." The waiter brings their telling meals, and Spencer proposes a toast to a marriage with trust. They exchange an "I love you" while eyeing each other like two international spies trying to determine double agency.
Vegas. The girls have headed to former Paris Hilton home base Ghost Bar at The Palms. They eye the cute boys and take shots until they come over. The first to arrive is a JB knock-off and his less genetically blessed wing man. Kristin is over this shit before it begins. The wing man teases that JB Lite was a back-up dancer for the Backstreet Boys. JB Lite plays along and proceeds to Backstreet's Back It Up on Kristin. Wow, that move is shameful on women and even worse on men. The guys hop up to jump around like frat boys, and Kristin decides to get some fresh air. Or, in fact, to leave JB a message that she can't get him out of her head. We head into commercials, and I'm left wondering who this guy blew to become the guy on this show. He's smelly and overestimates his own pithiness. He doesn't even really qualify for a bad boy if you factor in the overalls and glittery silver helmet. So I can only deduce that he gives really good head. I refuse to buy that women go for that crap.













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