When we return, Kristin enjoys a Pretty Woman-level array of room service, with emphasis on a bowl of ice cream. And it must be the next morning because BS pops another bottle of bubbly. BS asks her if she had fun the night before, but Kristin says douchebags aren't her scene. But they will do in a pinch. BS notes that the shower is running, and Kristin admits with a laugh that she "sinned in Sin City." And this isn't any ordinary douchebag. He's imported! As BS loudly marvels that Kristin made a booty call, JB pops out of the bathroom and arranges his towel to give the girls a peek of his junk and big, honkin' ITALIA chest tat. Now that JB has made his requisite appearance, he heads back into the bathroom to put on some clothes. They laugh nearly as conspiratorially as Lo and Lauren the very night that Mr. Brescia was dubbed "Justin Bobby." After BS picks her jaw up off the floor, she asks what happened to the "New Wang or Die" plan. Kristin isn't bothered, since her gamble booty call paid off. BS reminds her that JB has a lot of making up to do. She proclaims, "This trip just got crazy." In fact, BS, this is the opposite of crazy. Kind of expected, really.
L.A. Audrina meets JB's friend Derek again for the rehash of her last disastrous and mortifying dinner with Mr. ITALIA himself. She says she was basically his punching bag. Instead of acting sympathetic, Derek socks her again by informing her that JB is in Vegas with Kristin. Audrina finally shows that, though it takes a while, she can learn -- or at least repeat things back that have been said to her a million times -- when she says JB is a douchebag that will never change. Derek (some friend) chips in that he is super-selfish. Audrina says she's getting off this roller coaster ride while there's still a single strand of hair without vomit in it. Derek seems skeptical, but she insists his name won't (dis)grace her lips again.
Vegas. Kristin, JB and the third wheel belly up to the bar for skinny girl drinks and video poker. They start to map out their night. Kristin suggests a strip club. Unsurprisingly, BS is down. JB literally yawns at the prospect but agrees to join them. He ruminates on the consequences of his flaking out on this third and final chance from Kristin. She gloats that he probably never drove to Vegas for Audrina. He agrees, casually not mentioning the time he abandoned her there to find her way back to L.A. 'Cause he's thoughtful like that. He says she makes him do unexpected things. Then he asks whether she would have done the same for him. She says not after he played both sides with her and Audrina. He says she did the same thing with Brody and asks if that's going anywhere. She says that's a non-starter. Her downtrodden resignation is obvious enough that even JB should realize he's the consolation prize. He comforts himself and her with Stock Platitude #4,379: "Everything happens for a reason." The Three Slutsketeers do a shot to the night ahead. Kristin and JB tease each other not to let the other down, then they exchange the most bored look in the history of the world. Lo-level ennui, y'all.













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