The Hills

Episode Report Card
Kim: B- | Grade It Now!
La La La La I'm Not Listening

Previously, Lauren, Audrina, and Lo rented a house together. Audrina got the guesthouse and everyone but the girls recognized that as the kiss of death to the friendship. Meanwhile, Heidi and Spencer whatever.

Bolthouse. Heidi, wearing a scarf that looks like it was ripped from a Mexican blanket with a tank top (?), goes in and tells Brent that she knows the business is growing and she wants to be a part of it, even if it means relocating. Brent gives a commercial for one of his properties, Hyde. Heidi, who is the worst actress ever, stiffly gives line readings about how she's psyched to go to Vegas and help them expand the brand. God, I hope Bolthouse paid for that ad. And in case I didn't mention it, it's ri-goddman-diculous to wear a scarf with a tank top. It's like wearing Uggs with shorts.

LAL's House. Lauren and Lo are sitting in the sun. Audrina comes out and says that she has to go to the studio to babysit a band, and invites Lauren and Lo to stop by later. She's trying, you guys! Or, more likely, the label wants as much camera time as possible, and they know that boring Audrina isn't going to get camera time on her own, so they need Lauren and Lo to show up as well. When Audrina suggests that the girls stop by the studio later, Lo makes the most hilarious WTF face, like "Why in the hell would I want to hang out at a recording studio when I could just go shopping?" Love her. Lauren promises to stop by and suggests dinner afterwards. As soon as Audrina clip clops away, Lauren makes a fact at Lo and says it could be fun, and Lo grimaces and says that she just wants to shop.

Heidi marches over to her work friend Kimberly to report how she's going to Vegas to work on the expansion. Didn't Heidi learn her lesson about lording her work "success" over her co-workers? I hope Kimberly takes that ballpoint pen she's clicking furiously and stabs Heidi in the neck. This should would be 75 percent better.

Recording Studio. Some band makes the biggest mistake of their lives by appearing on this show and losing all of their credibility. Audrina gets a call from Lauren -- she and Lo are outside and want to know if they can come in. Audrina tells them to come in. Lauren at least has the grace to act impressed by the whole thing. Lo has to be a goof and ask if she can play with the board. Lauren listens intently to the music, but Lo can't be arsed and just text messages the whole time and then tells Lauren she wants to go get food. Audrina notices the whole thing and goes, "You're leaving?" Lauren asks her to join them and Audrina says she can't and Lo is WAAAAAY too quick to go, "Oh, okay" and run out the door. Once the girls are gone, Audrina's friend is like, "Thanks for coming for five seconds, bitches." Audrina, as usual, says nothing. Outside, Lauren and Lo don't seem to get how fucking rude they just were.

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The Hills




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