The Hills

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Booze and Boos

Back at Kristin's house, JB formally apologizes for bailing on Brody's party. Kristin accepts. She says she's never had a guy cook for her before. He says he's never cooked for anyone before. (And thank God for that!) They talk about telling their respective parents about each other as a means of broaching how serious they want the relationship to be. Kristin says she's not looking for a boyfriend. JB says he has his doubts, too. I have mine, too. Get tested, kids! Apropos of that, Kristin says she's getting a bit tired, then licks her lips seductively. They raise their eyebrows at each other a couple of times. It's supposed to be flirtatious, but it reads more "I'm going to kill you in your sleep and eat your brains for breakfast" (JB) and "I'm bored to tears, where's my paycheck?" (Kristin).They head inside to jiggle the beds some and call it a night.

The next day, Holly heads to meet Heidi Finnigan and Spencer VanVonderen for her ambush. At least they chose a Mexican restaurant so she can excuse herself to the bathroom and swill margaritas while they're not looking. That'll smooth out the rough edges tremendously. Holly walks in just as Spencer revs them both up by saying Holly's probably late because she's hung over.

Just as I predicted, Holly orders a margarita before the waiter can even say boo. Spencer says his Patron-drinking days are over. Heidi brings up Holly's booze-fueled high jinks at the Bolthouse event. Holly says she's been known to take a tipple on special occasions, but it was no big deal. Heidi claims she was scary. Oh honey, if you want to see scary dancing, just play back the tape of your Miss Universe performance. That shit makes looks Elaine Benes look positively balletic. Holly takes a slug and paints herself into a corner a bit, saying in essence, "I may be a boozehound, but that's my normal, so what's the big deal?" And she just got outwitted in a debate by Heidi, which is probably the biggest tragedy of all.

The Pratts change tack and say that Holly made a fool of herself at a professional event, which could harm down the road. She softens a bit. And then Spencer, oh Spencer... He says that he understands where she's coming from because the drink makes him a little crazy, too. (Witness here and here... just to name a couple.) Then he calls her "a long-haired Spencer Pratt." Wait. Isn't he trying to make her quit drinking? Surely this isn't the way. Nonetheless, he seems to get through. Holly plays along for the moment, saying she's going to put down the bottle for good.

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The Hills

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