The Hills

Episode Report Card
Lady Lola: B- | 1198 USERS: C+
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"On to the Next"

Night falls as Rihanna urges us all to kill ourselves in a game of chance. Or maybe she's just talking to Audrina. In which case, I'm fine with it. Audrina meets JB for dinner. She mentions her openness to getting back together, and he gives her an impassive, "I don't know, babe." Not a good start. She says how cold it is (veiled metaphor?), and he says he can't give her his jacket because he has nothing on under it. Yuck. Get out now, Audrina!

Audrina wonders why he didn't come to Heidi's birthday party. He says he was seeing Kristin then and wanted to avoid the inevitable confrontation. She asks if he and Kristin are still together, and he shrugs vexingly. She says Kristin came to the party with Brody (and if by "came together" she means they arrived in separate cars and talked a couple of times throughout the night, then yes). He looks particularly irked at that thought. More irked, in fact, than he ever was in any exchange with or about Audrina in the last four years. Looks like aspiring actor-slash-hairstylist JB has put down the shears and been working on his technique. This is almost believable!

With a look of hurt in his eyes, JB says Audrina's made her point. I love how it's always Audrina that's doing the shady shit, playing the games in his version of the story. As if she could ever put two and two together to run a scheme. But he really seems to believe it this time. He claims he did everything she asked, getting out of her life and moving on, but now he's the one getting hurt. This is some "boy who cried wolf" shit. Audrina asks him why he's even at this dinner with her. He vagues, "Maybe to finalize something that's not there?" What in the what now? Why will he not admit that he fucked her and fucked with her for four years? How hard is that?

The Hills

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