Audrina's date. They go to a restaurant. I guess he has a lip ring. I thought he had stitches in his lip. They have an actual conversation, even if it's a boring one. Audrina. Not that bright. Corey suggests that instead of going out after dinner, they should just go home. Together. You know.
Lauren and Lo (!) go out to dinner together. Lo apologizes for not going to the party, but she had a midterm the next day. Lo! A girl with her priorities straight! Why is she not the role model for young women instead of Lauren? Anyway, Lo asks why Lauren is so bummed that Brody left early. Lauren doesn't really know what's up. Lo is convinced that Lauren likes Brody as more than a friend, and maybe he wants that, too. Maybe he's waiting for Lauren to say something. Lauren says that she does like Brody, but she knows he plays the field. She wants him to pursue a monogamous relationship with her without her telling him to. I kind of get what she's saying -- she's under the impression that, when you really like someone, you aren't even interested in other people. But I don't think Brody is all that interested in the other girls. Picking up chicks is second nature to him. And he's not a mind-reader. She needs to lay it out, and see what he says, and be prepared for him to say he's not into a relationship right now. When I think about how much energy my friends and I wasted on fake dilemmas like this --- we could have started ten businesses and wrote fifty novels in the time we spent going, "But what do you think he meant when he said..." Just ask him what he means! God.
Hillside Villas. Audrina says that her date was awesome, and she's not used to being treated so well. Lauren is thrilled. Audrina is worried about jinxing it. Lauren asks if they kissed, and how, and under what circumstances. Audrina dodges the question. Lauren runs down the list: Corey treats her well, likes to kiss, and bathes, none of which JB did. Lauren decides, with a big thumbs-up, "UPGRADE!"
Heidi and Spencer's apartment. Spencer pretends to read a book while Heidi picks up. She asks him to keep his feet off the table, and he just raises his eyebrows. She asks him what's wrong. Spencer reveals that Stephanie told him what Heidi said. Heidi brings up the beeswax issue, but Spencer asks if she was just planning a big wedding as a stalling tactic. Heidi says that she was trying to do something nice, but it's clear that Spencer doesn't want it. Spencer thinks Heidi is dragging things out. Heidi thinks taking your time to plan it well isn't dragging it out. Heidi says that Spencer pushed her to move in and get engaged, and that she's sacrificed a lot for him. Spencer says that he's sacrificed most of his friendships too. And they both think this is a point of honor? Hey, I gave up my life for you! And I don't get why this isn't working out! Even though I have nothing going on in my life except for you! Spencer just shakes his head and walks out. Heidi tells him, "If you leave, don't come back!" He walks out anyway. Heidi, don't make threats you have no intention of enforcing.