The Hills

Episode Report Card
Kim: B | Grade It Now!
Once A Player...

Hillside Villas. Morning after the party. The apartment is amazingly clean, considering. Audrina mentions Brody and Frankie leaving so early. Lauren pretends she doesn't care, and brings up how much everyone liked Corey. Audrina is so happy to be going on a date with him. Lauren likes that Corey made an effort with Audrina's friends. She doesn't add, "Unlike gross JB," but you know she wants to.

Spencer and Stephanie go to the stationary store to pick up the Save the Date cards. He runs through all the elements they have planned, and mentions that they need a place for "the party," and it's SO Spencer to call it that instead of a reception because it shows that (A) he's a partier and (B) he's not tied down by the Man and (C) he's a grade-A d-bag. Stephanie, to the surprise of no one, reveals that she and Heidi talked about Spencer stomping out of the apartment the other night. Spencer can't believe that Heidi talked to Stephanie and not him. Stephanie drops the bomb that Heidi's not sure she wants to get married right now. Wow. Beeswax. None of yours, Stephanie. Spencer bails on picking up the cards, since he might not need them, and says he needs to talk to Heidi.

Audrina's date. They go to a restaurant. I guess he has a lip ring. I thought he had stitches in his lip. They have an actual conversation, even if it's a boring one. Audrina. Not that bright. Corey suggests that instead of going out after dinner, they should just go home. Together. You know.

Lauren and Lo (!) go out to dinner together. Lo apologizes for not going to the party, but she had a midterm the next day. Lo! A girl with her priorities straight! Why is she not the role model for young women instead of Lauren? Anyway, Lo asks why Lauren is so bummed that Brody left early. Lauren doesn't really know what's up. Lo is convinced that Lauren likes Brody as more than a friend, and maybe he wants that, too. Maybe he's waiting for Lauren to say something. Lauren says that she does like Brody, but she knows he plays the field. She wants him to pursue a monogamous relationship with her without her telling him to. I kind of get what she's saying -- she's under the impression that, when you really like someone, you aren't even interested in other people. But I don't think Brody is all that interested in the other girls. Picking up chicks is second nature to him. And he's not a mind-reader. She needs to lay it out, and see what he says, and be prepared for him to say he's not into a relationship right now. When I think about how much energy my friends and I wasted on fake dilemmas like this --- we could have started ten businesses and wrote fifty novels in the time we spent going, "But what do you think he meant when he said..." Just ask him what he means! God.

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The Hills




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