The Hills

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Once A Player...

Hillside Villas. Audrina says that her date was awesome, and she's not used to being treated so well. Lauren is thrilled. Audrina is worried about jinxing it. Lauren asks if they kissed, and how, and under what circumstances. Audrina dodges the question. Lauren runs down the list: Corey treats her well, likes to kiss, and bathes, none of which JB did. Lauren decides, with a big thumbs-up, "UPGRADE!"

Heidi and Spencer's apartment. Spencer pretends to read a book while Heidi picks up. She asks him to keep his feet off the table, and he just raises his eyebrows. She asks him what's wrong. Spencer reveals that Stephanie told him what Heidi said. Heidi brings up the beeswax issue, but Spencer asks if she was just planning a big wedding as a stalling tactic. Heidi says that she was trying to do something nice, but it's clear that Spencer doesn't want it. Spencer thinks Heidi is dragging things out. Heidi thinks taking your time to plan it well isn't dragging it out. Heidi says that Spencer pushed her to move in and get engaged, and that she's sacrificed a lot for him. Spencer says that he's sacrificed most of his friendships too. And they both think this is a point of honor? Hey, I gave up my life for you! And I don't get why this isn't working out! Even though I have nothing going on in my life except for you! Spencer just shakes his head and walks out. Heidi tells him, "If you leave, don't come back!" He walks out anyway. Heidi, don't make threats you have no intention of enforcing.

Lauren and Brody have dinner in a restaurant. Lauren fills Brody in on Audrina's love life. Brody's not buying that Audrina will stay away from JB. Lauren says that sometimes no matter how much you like a guy, he's not good for you. Brody wonders who's like that in her life. Lauren just raises her eyebrows. Brody wonders if she thinks he's going to go hit on a bunch of girls, and who exactly he would hit on. Lauren asks to see his phone and scrolls through, listing off all the girls' names in there. Brody says they're friends he's accumulated over the years. Lauren keeps listing them off: "Britney Hot Call Her, Britney Platinum Blonde, Britney Canada Whore." Brody laughs and takes his phone back. He says again that those are names over many years. Lauren points out that he just got the phone a few months ago, but Brody says he imported all his contacts. Lauren jokes that Britney Canada Whore won't be getting a call anytime soon. Lauren says seriously that he can do whatever he wants, and she's not going to tell him what to do. Brody tries to say that she could give him some sort of indication or something, but Lauren doesn't pick up on it. And then they stare at each other for ten minutes until the credits start.

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The Hills

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