The Hills

Episode Report Card
Kim: B- | Grade It Now!
Like Heidi Without the Spencer

Heidi and Spencer's apartment. Spencer is psyched for Heidi to return to work, so she won't be moping around their apartment anymore. Stephanie shows up and Spencer has to make a comment about a "mooch sister." Stephanie asks if Heidi has talked to Holly and then drops the bomb that Holly is staying with Lauren. Spencer thinks that Heidi's "stalker mom" orchestrated the whole thing. Heidi doesn't think so. Spencer then thinks that Lauren is trying to get good karma by taking in Holly, whom Spencer views as a problem child. Heidi gets pissed and says that Spencer is being really insensitive, since Holly was practically living in the streets (I'm so sure). Spencer says that Holly is the problem here, and Heidi shouts, "Maybe you're the problem!" Stephanie looks back and forth from Heidi to Spencer and practically rubs her hands together with glee. How awkward. If my brother and sister-in-law were squabbling like this, I would just walk away. Or lock them out of the apartment, like I did to my best friend and her boyfriend when they would not stop bickering. Because, seriously. Have some manners.

Audrina and JB go out to dinner. I don't know what JB is wearing. He's got on a leather jacket, a black hoodie with the hood up, and then a hat over the top of the hood. What? Why? He must be having a REALLY bad hair day if he needs both a hood and a hat. They flirt for a while and then JB hands Audrina a shopping bag that contains a shirt he bought for her. He kind of ruins the moment by ordering her not to wear a bra with it. Gross. And then my recording cuts off even though I set it to record two minutes over. Fucking MTV. I think I'll just make up what happened next. Fantasy option: Audrina realized that JB is a loser and dumps him. Reality option: Audrina and JB decide to spend more time together and plan their trip to Mexico and I throw up. Don't tell me which one is right. Let me have my dreams.

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Kim plots world domination, one domain at a time, at her blog Fresh Hell. You can contact her at

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The Hills




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