The Hills

Episode Report Card
Lady Lola: B- | 571 USERS: C+
YOU GRADE IT
Cheaters Live Long & Prosper

The Bunny drowns her sorrows in a blue plastic cup as she walks off. Audrina's first instinct is to head over to Brody. His first instinct is to apologize for his girlfriend's behavior and hug her tightly. Of course The Bunny, who is not 10 feet away, is watching all of this. God, they really are the stupidest people in the world, aren't they? Audrina leaves, and Brody returns to find the love of his life slugging straight from the bottle. (Shot!) She reams him out for even caring how Audrina feels about this whole situation. Brody gets a frazzled look on his face. The Bunny finishes the Jaeger in one protracted (and need I mention graceful) swig. You drunk yet? She is. Commercials.

Therapy. Spencer sits shamefacedly as Dr. Mansbasher begins the exchange with, "Okay, so? Trust is... not... there?" Seriously, lady? You got a Ph.D. for this? Save yourself some time by watching a weekend marathon and taking some "acting for reality TV" classes at the local Y. Heidi updates her on the trust-destroying, "incriminating" text message from BS. Spencer thinks Heidi shouldn't be looking through his text messages. Dr. Mansbasher says they're on different pages. Like everyone else for the past several years, including Lauren "Look at me! Look at me!" Conrad herself, Dr. Mansbasher can't get a word in edgewise. They pause to breathe for one second, so she drops this meandering-to-a-dead-end topic and asks if at least they're communicating their feelings to each other. They all agree Spencer is talking from the "I." So much so, snarks Heidi, that she's "nauseous." What were you blaming for the last couple of years?

That night at Audrina's house, Steph and Audrina recap Bunny Bang 2009. They give Brody props for intervening when The Playmates ganged up on Audrina. Audrina guesses that The Bunny's rampant Jaeger shooting might have had something to do with her rabid, incoherent attack. Apropos of nothing, Steph says, "She probably, like, sleeps in her makeup." Okay, you're not one to talk, third-degree-burns face. Audrina persists in feelings all high and mighty about the wreckage that is Brody and The Bunny's relationship and the fact that she's known Brody for waaaay longer. Even Steph urges her to shut it. When the ShePratt can see that you have no legs to stand on -- Audy, you in danjah girl! But Audrina's eyes are trained on the ceiling, so she can't see all the hints that Steph is dropping. She maintains that The Bunny is wracked by insecurities and that she and Brody are, like, BFF true loves meant to be forever! Gah. The clucking hens switch gears and speculate as to whether The Bunny will be at the party tonight. They are certain she will, which is all the better to relish their opportunity to flirt with disaster again by going up against the dynamicouple. In any case, Audrina is sure that Brody will have her back. Sure like a violinist on the Titanic. Again Steph portends, "I'm worried."

The Hills

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