The Hills

Episode Report Card
Lady Lola: B- | Grade It Now!
Cheaters Live Long & Prosper

Previously: Spencer checked into some sort of "weird stripper hotel." JB looked like he was also a frequent visitor to said hotel. Audrina was the hotel. And there will be fuzzy-tailed Hell to pay...

Lauren and Audrina shop and discuss one of the million barbecues that Frankie and Brody continually plan. Lauren tells Audrina that Brody came clean to The Bunny about his Hawaiian "Hey I wanna lei ya" Hawaiian encounter with Audrina. Lauren warns her that Brody and The Bunny will be there and that TB is pretty miffed with her, for obvious reasons that even Audrina can recognize. Audrina decides to get up on her high horse and say that Brody fights with The Bunny way more than she did with JB. That's really got to hurt. No one is worse than Audrina and JB. She keeps on this roll, claiming she was totally innocent, because "it didn't seem like anything bad or wrong at the time." Yeah, that's the cheater's excuse heard 'round the world. Lauren deadpans, "Yeah, it's not fun when vacation baggage follows you home." Audrina stares at her blankly, not realizing that she is the leathery, leathery baggage in this scenario. Ha! Credits.

Is this one of Heidi's songs? No, can't be. The singer can actually carry a tune... ish. Speaking of the tuneless wonder, she and everyone's least favorite co-worker Kim walk around town. Heidi reports that she found a text message from Bartender Stacie on Spencer's phone. She invited him back to H. Wood, the club where they had their last altercation. Meanwhile, I should have brought this up before, but she's obviously not a real bartender if she's available to go out to other bars on any given night. Heidi feels betrayed because they have literally spent hundreds of dollars trying to get rid of that skank, mentally at least, in therapy. Heidi comes up with a sneaky plan to show up at da club to see if Spencer shows up to meet BS. Hopefully she'll wear a spy mission beret like Blair! Kim, of course, enables her. Heidi warns, that, if BS shows her manky face, "things are goin' down." Ooooh, I like Ghetto Barbie Heidi!

OMG, this show is earning major points in my book by repeatedly playing Kelly songs right up front. Damn you, Adam DiVello, for finding my Achilles heel! Out in the actual Hills, the whole gang shows up to Frankie and Doug's house for the barbecue of your nightmares. Frankie mentions that Audrina just texted to say she's on her way, and The Bunny gives a requisite gawk. Brody tells her to relax.

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The Hills




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