For her part, Audrina deems Brody "pussy whipped." Seriously, Audrina? Did you really expect him to stick up for you? Ne'er before has a Scarlet 'A' seemed more appropriate. Brody heads over to Audrina and explains that The Bunny is a wee upset. Oh really? He tells Audrina to let it go, basically informing her that she was just a trick and that he has chosen sides. Audrina submits and leaves, thinking all the while, "Oh, you've won the battle, Bunny. But I'll win the war!" Audrina and Co. leave as The Bunny yanks back Brody to kiss him ferociously, territorially. Commercials.
Next day. Desert Rose eatery. Oh, Audrina... Why the hat? She arrives to lunch with Lauren and Lo. Of course she rehashes all the drama -- that she created, TWICE! -- with The Bunny. She blames Brody for not mediating. To be fair, it is a dramatic change in behavior for him. He meddles in everything! Lo is surprised, too, continuing to forge her weird alliance with anyone possible, since Lauren will be gone in a mere matter of hours... Lauren, on the other hand, recognizes Brody's awkward position. Audrina completely ignores the fact that she was straight-up dumped on her bony ass the night before and persists in her delusion that he should dump a girl that he loves because she's not cool with him cheating. Okay, there, Aud. Good luck with that! Lauren tells her to back off. Which, including ShePratt, makes two of the most drama-centered, me-first people in the world, telling her to clear out. What will it take for this to sink in? A Spencer-vention?!
Speaking of whom... The former half of Speidi rendezvous with Dr. Mansbasher for a one-on-one. They establish the fact that everyone else has known for years: that Speidi is waaaaaay too up in each other's asses. Somehow they decide to fix this by going out less and therefore spending more time together. What? But even Spencer doubts his ability to do that! God forbid they live separate lives like every other normal couple. Then what incentive would the paparazzi have to follow them?
Elsewhere, Lauren and Brody meet for a fancy French lunch. He is keen to discuss the drama. Lauren sympathizes with Audrina, prompting him to eventually apologize for leaving her to get pounded by Hurricane Bunny. Brody acknowledges that he should never have let Audrina sleep in his bed... And yet! Then he wiggles his way through the back door (just like in Hawaii -- bah dum bum!), blaming Audrina for not knowing that she should leave his room. Lauren has a learned a few things in these past four seasons, and you can see it in the smile she whips out to shut down this twisted logic. She reminds Brody that, as the one in a couple, he ultimately bears the responsibility for any dalliances. Unfortunately, he doesn't quite grasp these complex relationship issues and these strange notions of personal responsibility. Lauren suggests he set things straight with Audrina and apologize for putting her in this position. He takes the coward's route, saying he'll consider that option when things are less sensitive. He does firmly tell Lauren that he is sticking it out with The Bunny. Lauren reflects dismally, "Sometimes we sacrifice friendships for the one we love. It wouldn't be the first time." Oh yes, it's a phenomenon the girl formerly dubbed "Beef Curtains" knows all too well...