Bright washed-out lights and jarring camera work -- nice, guys -- accompanies the girls' morning ambush on Kristin, as they wake her up to tell her that her room "stinks" and that she is possibly a crackhead. They stare at her and smile meanly at each other while she wakes up, and Kristin explains that she's not the only person on Earth to party like the rock star that she is. They assure her that she is, and that they need her to get her shit together. Looking a million, with sunglasses, she packs. The girls all whisper about how embarrassing she is and how they don't want to brunch with her cracked-out ass, so Kristin with her headachey superhearing comes out to ask them if they're seriously talking shit one room away. Stephanie is amazing today:
"We're not talking shit, we're just... What is wrong with you?"
I kind of love that girl sometimes. Lo brings up how Kristin's going off the deep end, and Kristin says they're being ridiculous, and Audrina moos and chatters, and Kristin says she wasn't ignoring them last night to be a bitch, but because they're totally boring. What she doesn't say, because there's no way to say this without bringing a bunch of irrelevant bullshit into the conversation, is that this is exactly why girls end up saying they don't like other girls.
Lo -- after a laughable momentary pose of not wanting to say it -- points out that Kristin is doing major drugs. Kristin laughs the laugh of a college student getting talked to about alcohol by her junior high-school sister, and Stephanie lists a bunch of circumstantial shit, all of which is easily defeated. Ladies. Kristin is smarter and faster and meaner than all of you. Even if she was six miles high on drugs right this second -- and maybe she is, I have no idea -- you would still not be able to logic her, because she's a genius. The problem is not a rhetorical one, and "too early for drugs" is also "too early for some half-assed Mean Girl pretense at an intervention."
"It's been a rough couple days," Kristin reminds them, and the words echo like the voice of doom, because WORD. She turns first on Stephanie, explaining that of the two of them, she's the one in state-mandated recovery, so maybe stop putting her issues on KC. She turns next to Lo, since there's nothing you can say to Audrina that an eloquent eye-roll or head-shake doesn't cover, but Lo is quick: The bottom line is that their plane is at four and they'd prefer not to leave her behind in Miami. Kristin sashays back into her bedroom and stares at the wall and thinks about killing them, as they leave, and then I guess she smokes a bunch of crack.