The Hills
The Hills

Episode Report Card
Lady Lola: F | 518 USERS: C+
YOU GRADE IT
Nice Day for a Trite Wedding

The next day, Heidi and Holly gets their nails did. In the harsh light of sobriety, Holly apologizes for effing up Heidi's purse vis-à-vis her rehearsal dinner. Heidi quickly gets to the bottom of things: Holly stole her thunder. It's all about Heidi. Never forget! Holly apologizes for being a Cletus-ette and offers to abdicate her Maid of Honor status since ShePratt knows the manners and such. Heidi says she would never "un-Maid of Honor" her own beloved sister. They hug and move on. Holly marvels that Heidi will be Mrs. Pratt tomorrow. Heidi asks if Holly gave an invitation to some mysterious person they "talked about." Clearly they're talking about Kristin Cavallari, who is currently single. Why they feel the need to shroud this weeks-old tidbit in secrecy, I'm not so sure. Regardless, Heidi chuckles and says, "Ohhhhh, trouble."

Spencer's tux fitting. Two randoms claiming to be groomsmen show up, and Spencer's "friend" is there, too. While the others get fitted, Spencer's "friend" mentions that he's planning to bring Bartender Stacie to the wedding. Jesus, how stupid are you people? He hatches a plan to obscure her with an ornate hat. It's just screwy enough to work! Pffft. Instead of putting his foot down like a real man, Spencer advises his "friend" to keep BS 40 feet away -- as if that would be enough, then gives a thumbs-up on the veil scheme. "Friend" asks about the mechanics of the ceremony, and Spencer jokes that he got the preacher to take out the "If anyone objects..." part. At least I think he's joking. The friends need clarification, too, so Spencer laughs about how the preacher couldn't believe anyone would ever truly object at a real-live wedding. To which Spencer said, "You don't know my friends and family... and producers... and script writers... and agents... and gossip blogger hangers-on!"

LA House farewell BBQ. In attendance are all the regulars, plus Bunney, The Bunny, Frankie, D-Bag Doug, et al. Lauren gives a touching, if mildly egocentric, speech about how she (and Lo) hand-picked the group of people that they've invited to spend their last night there with them. These are the folks who've seen the best of times and the worst of times, their eyes have seen the glory of the coming of the Lauren. But now it must come to an end. Or as we say in TV lingo, "Jump the shark." They all cheers to how beautiful and popular they are. Audrina gives the obligatory "I can't believe life is changing all around us here in Grover's Corners" speech, but dumber. Long story short, they all invest way too much importance in this place.

The Hills

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